Ramblings....and a Harbinger!!

I have names swimming around my head like lil fish...and they talk! They will NOT shut up. I went to my Mom's work today...as I will Wednesday, Thursday and Friday....tired just thinking about it. She is being overloaded at work, and as Staff Development Nurse for over 240 staff members...you could say she is a little overwhelmed by what they decided to pile on her recently. She needs to input inservices, fix story boards, find out what EVERY single employee owes her IN inservices and get them the paperwork to have it down before 2008 is over. Plus they want projection calendars for ALL of 2009 and like 5 other things....by this Friday. Yeah....turds. So today we went through all 240 employees and figured out if they were missing mandatory inservices and/or IV inservices. These are state mandated requirements and all holy Hell could rain upom MY Mom if the State came in and 2008 wasn't ship-shape.
So I have intimate knowledge of 240 people's names and I don't even KNOW them! Nancy Alfeir you owe 3 IV's, Luz Santiago you owe all 12 mandatories and 4 IV's...etc, etc. I have Naiga's and Stephanie's and Roberta's flying about my brain....going AMOK!!! Get the NAMES OUT!!!

Anywho...let's get to a more FUN, Halloween-y subject. This one is...odd...but FUNNY. I think. Or maybe I just think you all are sick enough to find this HIGHLY entertaining...well Kristina will....so it's worth it already!;) Oh and Whit...sick twisted HIGH SHOOLer that she is...yup, gotta do it. Just remember...NO, this is NOT a subject I would normally converse on, it even makes me a wee uncomfortable...but in this ONE instance...I think you will pee your pants laugh. If you are funny anyway.

"Know Your Harbingers of Impending Doom: Boobies

Not the sea birds found primarily near warm waters - the fatty deposits that grace the chests of mature human females. Jugs. Melons. And while it's hard to imagine anything bad coming from something so good, there's an unfortunate horror movie phenomenon. Titsonics, that turns boobies into bouncy death traps.

In the Terrorverse, young women's breastsemit a high-frequency sound (measured in mammahertz) that only horror movie villains can hear. The sounds attracts them - not because they want a peek, but because they know that naked breasts indicate the presence of at least one highly distracted or highly vulnerable victim. The bigger the boobies, the louder the noise. And when those boobies are squeezed (say, by the fumbling hands of a young male), they get louder still.

Therefore, the only safe boobies are untouched, well-covered boobies. And well-covered means buried beneath enough clothing to muffle their sound (i.e. NO tank tops). In fact, the ideal outfit for a young woman would be a parka, over a ski jacket, over two sweatshirts, over two bras - with the nippages (ok yes I CHANGED this word) duct taped for good measure. But take heart, ladies. The moment you hit 23, your Titsonic profile becomes dramatically lower. And once you have a kid, it disappears forever."
- another excerpt from How to Survive a Horror Movie-

So I felt I HAD to make you all aware of the ramifications of being a female...especially in a scary situatuon. But DO know, I HATE even the word "boobies", so "breasts" (see I NEVER said/typed it...in quotes, so NOT my word) is NOT going to ever be a word I throw around. Nor any term for said nippages.
I refer to them as chest's (pronounched - chest-es-ez)...I am serious. Do not mock me please. Not everyone is THAT comfy with....words. Oh, shut up. This is what I get for feeling I have to share stories.