My Gastric Bypass, Part 3...the end.

So I was so happy to be home. They had set up the chair so getting up was easier, because that was HARD. And painful. And I was put into bed immediately. We can't sleep on our sides after...not for weeks, and I am a side sleeper, not a back so sleeping was hard. And I slept...for a couple of hours and woke up crying out. Yeah 4 days of no food or "going" and you have troubles...I was sick to my stomach...and EW, it was difficult to go. My schedule was weird those first few weeks. I had walkie talkies (my Dad had such a good idea, because I couldn't get in bed or out without assistance and a step ladder. And so I could call someone when I woke up or needed anything. Lifesaver. I'd usually be up REALLY early, and Kat or Sam took turns, Mom had to return to work, being up with me. Then I'd need a nap around noon, and then I'd be up for a few hours, then down again. I did NOT want to eat, but I had to have so much protein a day. And these shakes were much better, just like Instant Breakfast. And I had all these special meds I had to take for awhile, one for my gallbladder (lots of WLS people end up having to get it removed...and no I didn't want to me like them so I took IT), my hospital heroin, which my Mom now monitored...thank goodness, even 2 pills helped more. Whenever I showered I insisted on getting in by myself...Sandy usually started it and set out towels and clothes, and I didn't care that it hurt, I put on my tee and underwear by myself, all I asked for help was, was getting pj pants on, cuz I couldn't bend.And I did rounds...along the main floor. Max was fascinated. I couldn't hold him, and he had to be held back from jumping on my lap, cuz he could have done some serious damage. It was so sad. So I started to get used to the shakes even though I wasn't really hungry...but a day before my 2 week appt. I yearned for something besides liquids...my Mom let me suck on saltines...they had to be mushy, because the next step I hoped to be allowed on was soft foods. So we went the next day and he weighed me...I had lost 17 punds...in 2 weeks! He told me that only the first 2 weeks were usually like THAT, that dramatic, because I had like eaten nothing, and my stomach, my new golf ball size stomach was getting used to it. And he okayed me for stage 2 food. I did not like stage 2. I did alright with broth, ground up sugar free popsicles and my saltines I made into mush. But scrambled eggs became a NO, as did pudding and jello. I was shocked. It was like I had to relearn how to eat again...all over, from the beginning. I had my first outing (besides shufflng in my slippers outside) down the street to Walmart, where my Dad bought me some dvd's. And then another 2 weeks had passed and I was upped to SOLID FOOD, I was so happy, I did start to get hungry...little hungers but still...I was SO sickof shakes and broth...although I had to still have shakes for awhile, my protein had to be a certain amount every day, and BeneProtein in shakes continued to be the best way. Even after I didn't HAVE to have them, they became a clutch and my Mom made them for me so there were like 8 in the fridge at a time. In Sippy cups...they were the right size and I didn't use the tops...we aren't supposed to use straws, they can give air bubbles...which HURT now. So I was on solids and had a 1/4 of a ham sandwich on wonder bread as my first meal....soooo nice. But I had hard feelings in my chest so I had to make the rounds to make myself burp. Burping is a huge new thing...I have to do it a lot more, it releases air trapped in my nu-stomach and provdes relief in my chest. Because the hard feeling....leads to throwing up. And throwing up is very different now...and not in a good way. Unless you ask me to describe, I will just go with different in a weird way. And I experienced it just after I was upped to solids. We went to Arby's and I ate 1/4 of a junior roast beef sammy, and the hard feeling in my chest was the worst it had ever been...I was crying. We left but half way home I screamed stop the car, and opened the door and threw up in someone's driveway...it was horrible, but I felt so much better......I have tried to MAKE myself and can't. And January 1st we had friends over and Mom cooked a ham and I had my kiddie plate, Mom bought some for me....the plate was pathetic looking....like that commercial with the couple who waited to eat at the fancy restaurant and were starving still, so they went to a convenience store...it was like dots on a plate. And I got so sick, but couldn't throw up and my Mom said to try but it wouldn't happen. I haven't had ham of any kind in almost 3 years. Jan 1st it will be officially 3 years. I am afraid of it. I also haven't been able to eat a scrambled egg, an omelette or pasta since my surgery. They give the hard feeling automatically. And I can eat raviloi and lasagna, but not any plain old pasta...it is weird...I miss fettucine alfredo SO much! And egg noodles with butter!! MAN!

Anyway, it started to get weird when as I was doing my rounds, my underwear and pj pants started slipping...so I started wearing a lot of drawstring pants and bought some new underwear...which got lose again...and again. At the end of January Sandy decided it was time for a pair of jeans for me. And I bought a pair of size 18 jeans from Walmart...it was the first time in YEARS I was able to buy jeans from the regular womens section. It had been guys jeans or specialty pricey jeans for so long. I am pretty sure I cried.

I have plateau'd just like Doogie said I would...I was almost at 100 pounds down when it happened and I gained 10 pounds back...which caused an anxiety attack when I saw that in March and why I NEED to find a program that doesn't bore me. I did Curves again a year or so ago but was dreading it after a month, I was losing inches but I was so bored! So I need to find something because after being so heavy for somany years...to be under 200 pounds, is amazing. I still need to shop at Lane Bryant for nice blouses, but I can shop at Walmart for bottoms, and Old Navy, a new favorite. The thought of even weighing 200 pounds which is WAY less than what I did...scares the holy heck out of me. I don't want to be THAT person again. I have size 14 jeans and this might seem big to some people, but I am almost exaclty where the surgeon said I'd be...I AM 5'10" with a big frame...I will neve be able to be a size 6 unless I look anorexic...

So now what I need is a way to lose some more weight, if I could lose 20 pounds I would be at my goal weight. And yes, if you wonder I DO have excess skin, I DO NOT wear sleeveless shirts, but it my double tummies that really bug me...I could fit into a 12 if not smaller if it wasn't ALL this skin making 2 tummies...one is enough man...my deepest wish is to have a tummy tuck. Sandy wants a complete body lift, but she is wanting marriage and babies NOW. I just want to feel good about myself for ME...guys are not a huge priority for me right now. Heck if they lopped off that skin onmy tummy I bet that'd be at least 10 pounds!! I SO WANT a hernia...the only way insurance would pay for it...stupid body for NOT being crappy for once!!

So that is the story of my gastric bypass. The worst pain and experience in my entire life...I still am not Sandy saying it was SO worth it...but am I upset I did it or regret it? No. I have been diabetic medicine free for almost 3 years. Yup, my sugars are beautiful. I miss soda like crazy

And how I frustrate my family the most? Well I see the difference (you know with before pics) in my face a lot, but I can't really see the difference in my body...I just can't for some reason, and they call me crazy. It's probably psychological, but I still see the old me mostly......arrghhh!

The End....unless I CAN lose weight in which case I will shout it from the rooftops!! oh and thanks to Brigitte, I felt I HAD to do a before and after where I am posing with the same object...a pig...gee that's great, but it IS only because I love pigs. And I want everyones permission to only leave up the pics for a FEW days...this is NOT how I want people seeing me...self conscious much? YES!! These are some pics...I don't take many whole body shots cuz...really what woman unless they look like a model does...so hopefully these pics are still accurate...or I look better now...hope is a wnderful thing sometimes.
Before................................. ..................... After....ugh










last night sans nice clothes or make-up....dang you all!!