I accidentally posted the highs and lows of 2009 out of order. Anyway, I noticed a trend the last day or so in the blogs I read. People are saying the goods and bads of the year 2009. As I have nothing else to write about I decided to do a post on both. Good things from 2009, and bad things from 2009. I am going to make this the Bad things of 2009 post, as it is so much easier for me, being as I AM Pessimistically Optimistic.
*Depression has lasted through the entire year. Not since I went through a really bad spell about 5 or 6 years ago, have I been this bad for so long. Depression never goes away, but you have waves of it normally, periods where you are at least okay. This year, I really have not experienced that. It has been waves hammering at me non-stop.
*The Lamictal Experience. That was the mood stabilizer drug I was taking into the beginning of 2009, where I was not sleeping for days on end. And then even when I weaned off of it, my Ambien and such wouldn't work for hours. I am a 10 hours of sleep minimum girl. So no sleep? SUCKED. Here are a few of the highlights from then. Here, here, and here.
*The Abilify experience where my legs wouldn't sit still and I felt like my heart was going to explode.
*One of my best friends got a divorce. She has been very unhappy and lost a lot of her faith in the church. The ward out there makes her feel wrong, so she stopped going, so she doesn't even have that support system.
*Got so sick to my stomach one day I was crying in pain, and no matter what I took, the pain would not lessen. I couldn't throw up or anything, which would have brought relief, I know it.
*While in Florida, I fell in the shower. Badly. I bruised up badly and began to have these migraine-like headaches every day. I had to go and see a chiropractor and have lots of treatments until they began to ease. But it took months. And I am still terrified of falling to this day. No one even heard me fall. I bashed my head into the spigot and slammed both my knees down into the floor, and then slammed sideways into the side of the tub, so it was really scary.
* Due to strange circumstances, I LOST many pictures I had taken for over 6 months. I was able to get some of them back due to giving them to some people, but the majority can't be found on any of my back-up cd's, so they are gone forever. Which breaks my heart for so many reasons.
* I excercised for 6 months straight, because I was terrified I was gaining weight, only to get weighed and told I had gained 20 pounds. I am not someone who can stand excercising so it was a huge deal for me, and I GAINED weight.
*I didn't get to go up to Girls' Camp. For some reason it felt incredibly important that I be there this year, but I wasn't asked to go up, and was in fact told that people were being asked NOT to ask our family to come and help, since we belong to a new stake now. I am sorry, but a Mormon is a Mormon, so I should have been allowed to go up period. I still feel I may have missed something crucial, or something important I was supposed to witness.
*They filled a cavity in my mouth, but there was an air bubble in the filling so I couldn't eat on the left side of my mouth for almost 4 months. Because they couldn't FIT ME IN to fix their mistake!
*I found out one of my closest BFF's will most likely move away, right after she has her first baby, who I am supposed to get to be Auntie Wendy for. This is going to make me cry so much, I love this friend and even her hubby is adorable, and the future baby? Going to be awesome!:(
*Went on a strange stroll through the woods with my Mom and was bitten so badly, I contemplated burning myself as some suggested just to feel some relief. As the aggravation had me in tears, I was in agony. And they left scars.
*My heart started beating too fast even on extra medication, and even felt like it was going backwards. So after weeks of this, my doctor had me wear a heart monitor for 3 weeks and made me wait over a month to learn that he isn't concerned I have an extra heartbeat. Yeah, my doc rocks.
*Peeing way too much and going hypoglycemic almost daily and after weeks of waiting for results, my doctor had no answers for me here either. I had to go see specialists if I feel it is worth it. Yeah, heck yeah, it is worth it. This is wrong!
*Was in a head-on collision. Had to go to the ER and was in major pain for weeks. My right shoulder still hurts. And the 17 year old is lying, he didn't even have a yellow light. He needs to be punished, he is lying and he is just irresponsible and needs to be taught that driving is a privilege, not a right, and that your car can be a deadly weapon.
*And because of the pain, I missed out on many days of posting which bugs my OCD self.
So there were the major LOWS of 2009.