Thursday, October 29, 2009

Dlual Citizen and DANG IT ALL!


Harbinger of Impending Doom: The Dual Citizen

A dual citizen is a special breed of character found only in a horror flick. He or she is someone (usually an elderly man) who exists somewhere between the Terrorverse and the real world. Dual citizens always function in the same way: give the audience some neatly bundled back-story and force the protagonist to make a choice - either heed the warning and turn back, or ignore it and forge ahead. Inevitably, our her

o always chooses option number two (otherwise we wouldn't have much of a movie). But if your goal is survival, you'd be well advised to get the hell out of Dodge when some old codger tells you to, narrative structure be damned.Here are three of the most common dual citizens to be on the lookout for:

* The gas station attendant who lives just down the road from the evil town and tells you not to go there, even though he seems relatively unaff

ected by the evil. (Why hasn't he moved away or called the cops in all these years?)

* The local barfly who tells you a story beginning with "It was a night just like tonight...".

* The homeless guy who grabs your arm after you toss a nickel in his cup, stared into your eyes and says something like, "If you're trapped in the house of hell, follow the right path to freedom". Of course, this advice eventually saves your life at the end of the movie, when you're confronted with two doors while escaping the serial killer's basement.

Hero

One door on the left, one on the...right?

(puts it together)

Right path! "Follow the right path to freedom!" God, what clever screen-writing!

Still, you'd be better off identifying him as a dual citizen and not entering the house of hell in the first place!


Okay back to writing from me, I am such a moron. I got everything all set to do my blood work today, but when I woke up to trudge upstairs to bed I felt hungry and had a bloody granola bar, which made the fasting null and void! Freaking idiot!! Agghh! I wanted it over with. I am so not okay with needles, like on the verge of passing out a lot of the time. AND I want the results back as soon as earthly possible! So I am very angry with myself for blanking in that moment!

I went to see The Stepfather tonight. No one was willing to go with me, no matter how I begged, so finally, even though I don't love it, I was like I am going by myself then. I have missed too many movies I wanted to see in theaters and I NEEDED this. I needed to be distracted from all this stress I am feeling. Too close to tears all the time. So I got ready and went outside and am leaving when Katie calls me from inside the house. I was upset no one would go with me when I asked so I was like I am fine goodbye. THEN I closed the garage door and she heard that so she called back and insisted on going. Which okay yeah, made me a bit happy. And guess what? It was NOT scary, she actually liked it. She said the scariest looking parts were IN the trailer, so it reminded her of thrillers she was okay with. Like Disturbia. ♥ So I really enjoyed it. That Walsh guy was really good as the evil soon to be stepfather, and Penn Badgley was great! I like him! So if you liked Disturbia, I think you will like The Stepfather. It was a thrill!

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5 meaningful meanderings:

The Boob Nazi said...

Hmm, I don't know. There was a book by R.L. Stine, I think, called The Stepfather. It was lame.

Sheri said...

Hmmm I may see it, not sure yet.

Kristina P. said...

My brother said that it was the worst movie he had ever seen! Now I don't know who to believe!

Lee said...

I was never really interested in seeing Step-Father.
Duel-citizens are in almost EVERY movie. It's so funny.
"LISTEN TO THE CREEPY GUY YOU IDIOTS!!!!"

Yaya said...

I hate fasting bloodwork. I always pass out.

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