Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Rest of the DNA


You all have probably never heard someone say this before, but I kid you not, I tell my Mom this all the time. Sure she laughs, but I am oh so serious. I am Danny Devito. Well, okay, I am the Danny Devito from Twins....that Danny Devito.
You know when, in the movie, they say Ahhhnold got all this amazing DNA, he was brilliant, athletic, look at the body, the brains, the heart, etc. and then they say all the crap that was left over went to his twin brother? Yeah I am THAT Danny Devito. I inherited all the crappy DNA, all the things that COULD go wrong from both sides of my family.

Especially compared to my siblings. What did Mike inherit? Uhm Uncle Danny's height, outgoing-ness, athleticism, etc. All my friends were all ooohhhhing and aaahhhhing over him. Gross by the way. That's my brother. Katie....hmm let's see, she does have some emotional crap, true, but what else? Gorgeous, athletic, perfect vision, etc. Sure she has fibromyalgia but that is all her, not from DNA. Sam, well yeah she has glasses, she WAS overweight but now is not.She got the blond curls and blue-gray eyes.

Now let's go to yours truly. I have glasses, can't barely see anything 2 feet from my face otherwise. I was the one to inherit my Grandma's chest's. HUGE and uncomfortable, they give me such backaches. I got the tallness, but on a girl, it had me made fun of all through my younger years, so I WISH I was a nice 5'6" even. 5' 10" is wasted on me, I am NOT athletic. I got the shyness that my Mom had, my Noni had. I was the only one of my sibs to inherit the Australian/Irish freckles. Recently I have decided I will love them, as it makes me feel my Australian and Irish connections more, but as a kid, when in the sun, I felt so ugly. Who was the only kid to inherit the scholiosis? Me. Oh and subluxations and one leg is shorter than the other. Yeah my chiro gave me a shoe lift years ago, do I wear it? No. Can you even imagine if it flew off during gym class?? I was already picked on all throughout K-12!! Let's see, what else makes me feel like my siblings got the good DNA and I am Danny....hmmm. Well, let's talk looks, I am not even a pretty person. I have gorgeous siblings, but I am pretty much a plain jane. And with my glasses OFF, I look even worse, almost Alien-ish. So they sucked up all the good looks DNA while we were all up in Heaven while I was off daydreaming as I am often found doing. How RUDE! And I got the M gene, the family gene from my Dad's side which means problems with weight. And it really isn't going away even with major surgery! Agghh! Who inherited problems from both her grandmothers that include OCD, depression, Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Type II? Why, Danny of course!! Oops I meant me! Heart problems run in the family, who has any sort of trouble? Why that is me too! Tacchycardia is SO not fun. Feeling like your heart is going to burst out of your chest because it is running SO fast? Scary as heck. And who is the only child to inherit Diabetes? So when it was out of control, who inherited the bad triglycerides? Why Wendy Devito, naturally.

So yes this is just a theory, but so you see what I mean? I am seriously Danny Devito from Twins! Someone just went up and told me, Mike, Kate and Sam got all the good DNA, sorry. And Wendy, you got the "leftovers". What was left over after we made these amazing people, that is what you got. How bloody unfair.


* Do NOT miss minute 1:55 through 2:30!!!


P.S. Is anyone else having problems with Google Reader? It won't open for me, I have to click on each post I see under following right now to read posts!! Agghhh!

9 meaningful meanderings:

Kristina P. said...

But you have a great ability to be kind, empathetic, and be a great story teller.

So take that, Arnold!!

LadyStyx said...

You're a whole lot prettier than you give yourself credit for, dear.

And yeah, the Google Reader link on my dashboard keeps throwing an error. The only way I can use the reader is to open another tab up top and access Google Reader via the browser.

Tori_z said...

You may have inherited most of the bad stuff, but you have good qualities too. I mean, despite all you got lumped with you still keep going and try to be there for those who need you, right? So that's gotta count for something.

And, I'm so with you on the grossness of friends drooling over your brother. I had that with Carl... It was gross, and I was jealous of the attention he got. Especially since there aren't many differences in our looks.

Sarah said...

I don't think you're "plain jane" looking at all. I think you look artsy and edgy...I'M plain jane looking! Anyway, I like reading your blog, it's fun and not boring :)

Yaya said...

Wendy, I think you are beautiful! But I get what you're saying. I wonder sometimes if that's the reason we have not been able to have biological children. Would they inherit my mental problems? Do I want them to have to go through that?

Amander said...

I always liked Danny better than Arnold in that movie anyway :)

Lee said...

You know, I love that movie.
and I think you're too hard on yourself. You got a lot more good genes than you realize.

Fiauna said...

My family laughs about this, too. We have some pretty bad genes in our pool as well! LOL

Lucy said...

Yup! In my next life, I'm picking out my own DNA.

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