Excercise Buddy and Hair Cuts

Agh it has been a day with good and bad qualities to it. I will go with the bad first so that I can get past it and get to the better things. Sandy announced tonight that she no longer wants to wait for me to do excercises with, which has seriously devestated me. What she doesn't seem to be getting, even though I have tried to get it through to her, is that I need her. I can't do this without her. I was really proud when we hit one month of working out last month, but I knew the only reason I had made it that far was my sister. Sandy's nickname is Sarge. She is very bossy and opinionated, but in this case it has proved invaluable to me. She doesn't let me give up even when I am sure I can't walk another step or dance another shuffle. She encourages me to keep on going, that I can do it, and for some reason when she says it, I keep on trying. I hate excercise, it is something I detest and even though I know it is good for me, it is something I avoid at all costs. And I know without her, and it will not be intentional, but without her, by the time a month goes by, I wil either be doing it rarely or have stopped altogether. She is my motivator. Yes I want to lose weight, but without her by my side, keeping me going, I am going to fail. Sometimes you need someone, especially in times where you are doing badly, which I am right now, you need a person you look to, to keep going, and in this regard, at this time, it is my sister Sam. My Mom offered to excercise with me, and I would love for her to excercise with me too, but my Mom is like me when it comes to excercise..."I'm tired...wanna stop?", "Okay!". Yeah it was supposed to be me and my mother before many times, but her job makes her so tired and her back aches, so that she won't end up being able to do it, or like only once a week, which won't do anything to help me. I need my sister right now and don't know if she is going to pull through for me, which I really need her to. I know I can keep going if I have my Sarge spurning me on. I've been in tears over this because I know me. I have started off before on my own and it just doesn't work. I get bored, restless, and I quit. But if Sam stayed by excercise partner, she wouldn't let me. I need that, and I need her. I can only pray she sees how much I need her and changes her mind. I know she'd like to excercise early to get it over with, but we were doing so well together, and I started the evening really feeling better about myself. (Sam...please. I could try for earlier on Wednesdays and Fridays...I need you kid.)

Ahhhh let us stop the tears from falling again and talk about other things. Some of us went to the YM/YW fundraiser at church tonight. You buy 5 raffle tickets and you get a scoop of pasta, some salad, a roll, a cup of soda and some ice cream. All for 2.50. Sure if you want more scoops, you must buy more tickets. But I had two left over tickets and left them on the table. They were also going to have a dessert auction at the end but we didn't stay for that. The Poor Man's Lasagna was good, I knew it would be, Sister H., the Bishop's wife made them ALL and is a very good chef. Then we went and picked up my Mom's RX from CVS, she came home early because she wasn't feeling well and the Doc prescribed her some medicine. My Mom felt well enough to fix my hair though, so yay. She cut it, I think it was supposed to be less short than it is, because she kept going hmm, and asked my sister is this straight and it was a negative so another set of hands was cutting at my hair, but it is cute I hope. Some cuts don't look good on everyone, I only hope it does suit me. And then she re-colored my hair and it is perfect, and I love the color. I just wish myhair would HOLD the color the way it did before the surgery. I used to color it and it would stay flaming red for 6 months! Now, by two weeks in, it is not the color I loved. That suckkkkkksssssss. So here are a few pics of the new 'do. What do you think? Be honest, maybe I can use clips if it looks odd on me. Or head bands.

I am sorry, I am still so upset about this Sam thing. I just need her. Do I sound needy? Maybe I am. But I was feeling like I was doing something, really getting something accomplished, and like that, it is gone. I admit, I am not strong, especially right now, I am struggling to take it day by day. And I got used to Sandy keeping me in line and being my excercise rock. I just don't know what I will do now, and need to get the feelings out. And if she reads this, maybe she can understand why it is so important to me. Why I need her Sarge to keep going.

Can't wait to see Weezie at her Pampered Chef party tommorrow, she is pregnant for the first time, and she calls HER baby, all 2 months old, Tadpole!! I wanna see if she is getting a belly yet!! It should be fun.