Saturday, January 24, 2009

A Letter to the Dept.

Dear Germ/Bacteria Department,

Okay we need to get something straight. When I have mentioned in the past that I would not mind being sick, you know exactly what I meant. I meant the whole sniffle nosed, sore throat, tired kind of sick. The kind of sick, where you suck on Ricola to soothe your throat, have soft tissues by your side, and you just rest because your appendages are like wet noodles, you can't even stand up. I thought we had an understanding.

I did NOT mean, at any time, the kind of sick where I am sick in the bathroom, in all ways possible, and the pains that begin in my stomach are so bad, I am crying out in pain. The kind of sick that is either a BAD stomach bug or food poisoning. The kind of sick that my Mom gives me nausea meds, abdominal pain meds and the big D. word pills, and they seem to do nothing. I have never agreed to the kind of pain where all I wanted to do was cry but the pain was too bad to be able to cry. Crying is run by it's own department THANK YOU, and as you well know, through inter-Wendy communication, they have been having a field day lately and do NOT need anything else to make them cackle and run around in glee, jumping on my tear ducts!

I really did not need this, and the feeling that it is not totaly done with me yet, has me gripped in fear, as I felt like I was going to lose it this morning, with such horrible pain, I wanted someone to seriously kill me. I can't do that pain again. I am so scared right now, Campbell's chicken noodle soup is the first thing I have had to eat in 22 hours, and you know as a Diabetic, that is just ASKING for problems. It is probably why, at this moment, I feel so incredibly odd, like my bearings or equilibrium are all screwed up. This is scaring me also.

Now you force me to loathe you, and I will now try to take my vitamins every day again, and do what I can to stay healthy from germs or bacteria like you. You see, I was you friend, until you did this. Now I am your enemy, because I have not been in this much pain, since they sliced my stomach open and rearranged my stomach with staples and whatnot. That is how bad the pain was, I can only put my major surgery as an idea to the amount of pain I was in, out there. And unlike then, I did NOT have pain killers to help with the pain. You and I germ/bacteria department? We are through, and the only way to ever redeem yourself? Do NOT do this to me again, and make whatever this has been, GO AWAY, and let me be better. NOW.

Sincerely,

Your Host Wendy

14 meaningful meanderings:

CaJoh said...

You tell those germs who's boss. Do hope you feel better soon.

Kristina P. said...

That's so horrible! I am the worst sick person. I hope you get better soon.

Amander said...

Boo! I am the same way, I don't really mind colds all that much, but throwing up? Forget about it (hence why I was so disturbed about having to throw up in the snow).

Mary said...

That really sucks. I HATE throwing up!! It's always good to have a bottle of Phenergan around in those cases ;o)

I really hope you start feeling better!!!

Marie said...

YYUCK..Feel better soon!
MArie:P

ramsam said...

Maybe this should be a petition instead of a letter. I think we would all sign!

Michelle said...

Ick. That stinks. Hope you are feeling better.

Jillene said...

That is terrible!! Those stomach bugs are the WORST!! Feel better soon!!

Mary Moore said...

Aww, get better soon, chicky.

I'm coming down with a cold thing ,but that's nothing compared to you.

Natalie said...

you have a fantastic sense of humor for a sick person!

Viva Las Vegas said...

Ok, I know your sick, but that was very funny!! You even make being sick look good in your writing.. Feel better real soon..You made me laugh, and that is not easy right now! :)

Lee said...

I'm gonna beat those germs up for you.
Gimme their address. I'll knock the snot right out of them. WhyIOughta!

I hope you feel better soon!!!

Mother Goose said...

i'm sorry you are sick but I loved the way you wrote this!!

Yaya said...

Aw...I hope you feel better soon!

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