DS and MD

My special post on Max's amazing-ness, will have to wait until tommorrow as I feel like talking myself, and not posting his amazing-ness just yet. Thursday night we ate at Bertucci's, an italian restaurant, since my Dad was off at some IAABO (pro referees) dinner being recognized for 10 years...no we were not invited, lame I agree. So we ate out, I tried the Pollo Sanremo minus the olives and capers and switched the pasta and asparagi for mashed potatoes and green beans, it was delicious, I have had such a craving, more than usual if possible, for chicken.

And I have been thinking, especially since we have gotten back from Florida, and I brought plenty of money back, that I may really want my own Nintendo DS. I really enjoy playing games on Sam's, and have bought 1 game for her on it, and 4 games for me! And I was all, maybe I should wait until Saturday for the new DSi, which has 2 cameras, so you can take pictures and edit them, and plays music...but Sam and Mom pointed out, I have a camera, I edit on my laptop, and I have an IPOD....so why pay more than the DS? So I caved on that, it is true. Plus the new one doesn't have the slot to play Gameboy Advance Games, which is a minus. But Sam was trying to talk me out of it all night at dinner, so I began to doubt myself, even as I pointed out that if I had my own, I could play it whenever I wanted, and I could TAKE it anywhere I wanted, and if Sam got pissed at me, no one could "take it away". All really good points, but I am easily swaded by others, a bad character flaw, so I was like AGGGHHH! And then I got all stubborn me and said I wanted to stop at Target and get mine NOW. I even told me Mom it felt like partially it was to stick it to Sam, OY I know!! And so I went, and no one stopped me, and I bought a red one and a new game, handed over my card for $160, was told to go and purchase the 3 year warranty up front and felt sick. And ended up having Sam telling me, as I babbled this was a mistake over and over, that my reasons had been good. That I did love it, and this way we could both be playing at the same time, and we could even share games, etc. But I was freaking. This was a big purchase...to me at least. When I bought my camera (the newer one) it wasn't too bad, because I love to take pictures and KNEW i would use it and often, etc. But when I spent $300 on my IPOD a few years ago, I felt like throwing up. And had some of the same worries, what if I don't use it often, what if I hate it, what if....a million what if 's. Anyway, I was freaking out while holding my purchase in the store, thinking I just did this to spite Sam and ended up having Mom and Sam reassuring me it was the right thing to do, which they didn't have to. If they had told me, then let's return it right now Wendy, I would say, I would 100% so have done it. But it is growing on me, having my own. But I AM still unsure. I can spend hundreds on movies...but see they are $5 to $25 a piece, so it is not like one big purchase. Big purchases, or okay what I see as big purchases, are hard for me.

I grew up barely middle class as a kid, and then we were middle class in jr high and high school. So when Pop died and left all us grandkids some money, it was like for the first time ever in my life I had money. And I was 18 so I went crazy spending it. Yes, my parents feel some responsibility, like if I had experience with money before it happened, I would not have spent HALF of it on things I can't even remember. Seriosuly I don't know what I bought that took the money away. Sam, as she had to wait years to turn 18 and saw MY mistakes, bought things she can see and name. Computers, cameras, printers, giant chair, desk, etc. Me? No CLUE how I spent that much money or where it went. Anyway, so my parents blame themselves a bit. We never even got an allowance consistently so having money burnt a hole in my pocket, and as I was depressed, it felt GOOD to spend. So with the girls who didn't get control over the money until they turned 18, they ended up giving them each a few hundred so they would get used to having some money and spending it. So they wouldn't make my mistakes. Never fear, I know it is mostly my own fault. Especially as I know just spending made me feel better. So I wish I had made wiser decisions, and my parents wish I knew what having money was like so I didn't make unwise decisions. It was a mess in other words. So since then, I have felt much more worried when I spend money on one thing that is over 50 bucks. Sure there are still impulse buys, but nothing like when I was 18. And I show my Mom whenever I buy things and when she sees a blouse or something she hates or thinks I will never wear, she says so, and we talk it out and if I end up agreeing, I actually bring it back! Wow, I know. Anyway this is why big purchases can make me freak out, it brings back past mistakes and I worry.

Today, I went and saw my MD. He ended up telling me I have a contusion/concussion. (I knew I had something!!) He gave me Vicodin for 4 days to help with the excruciating pain, and told me if the pain lasts past Tuesday, I need to go see my Nuerologist though. Which I am very worried I will have to do. It has been almost 2 weeks. All you other migraine sufferers, imagine a 2 week migraine!! He also told me that during the weekend, if I start vomiting, feel drunk or have trouble seeing, I have to get to the ER stat. Oh boy, lol! So I have some medicine I hope will make the pain a little lessened, which is nice, but if the pain doesn't go away, I only have meds for 4 days, so I am still wringing my hands. And the family, well they are finally taking me seriosuly. Sam actually said, well now a doctor SAID you have a concussion. So now they won't let me drive, and Sam wouldn't let me go to Target with her. Everyone NOW says I need to lay down and take it easy...where was that on Monday when I had to grocery shop with this pain?! Agghh!! It is nice to finally see some concern on my Dad and sisters faces, but geez, you couldn't take my word that the pain was that bad and I thought something was wrong?!!!