Short Burst

Hey Blog Family!

I wanted to at least say that I am indeed back home safely. I am way too tired to write anything substantial yet. Yesterday we traveled from 6am Midwest time, to 6:45pm Eastern time. So it was an exhausting day. And I get home and all I want to do is watch some of the shows I missed, and my Dad had the wrong date set on his DVR, so I missed 8 of my shows, so I am tired and frustrated and trying to watch them online. As I laid down last night, I also got a lovely migraine and so catching up on much needed sleep has been difficult so far. It is VERY hard to try to sleep through a migraine. So I am sorry I am being so lazy, but I just don't have it in me yet to write about the trip, well write what I CAN write about, on here. I am just so pooped! When I have gained some energy, I HOPE by tommorrow night, I will be back to my normal blogging self.

You know how else you can tell how tired I am? I haven't even uploaded pictures from my camera to my computer yet. And I took over 400 with my new Nikon. I like to transefer them over ASAP usually, but it seems like so much effort. Heck all I did today was go to Walmart and stop by the grocery store for Redbox and caramel dipping sauce, and it exhausted me. I am sitting up for this short post but them I am going to lay back down and watch Medium, etc online. I have been reading a bunch of posts, but I probably won't start commenting again until at least tommorrow, and on the new posts only. Sorry, but I missed a LOT in 6 days!

So hopefully tommorrow, we wil return to our regular scheduled programming! ((HUGS))

P.S. I hate Central time...is is central...or is there a middle one? Whatever the middle one is I HATE it! Shows being on at 7pm, how stupid!! Sorry but primetime is 8 to 11, not 7 to 10!! There, HAD to get it off my chest!

One Year Blogiversary!!

I really do find it extremely strange to think that it has been a year to the day, since my first post. A year...it seems unbelievable! Oh and what a post it was too. It was entitled "What Up?" and said this:

"Well it seems everyone is jumping on the blog bandwagon, and so I am giving it a shot of my own. I'll probably post poems, talk about my love of movies and talk about just general stuff and rant of course...when I remember I have a blog. See, I was never much good at keeping a journal or diary so this may start off strong and fizzle, or maybe no one will even read this, but even if they don't, hey...maybe I will have an online journal I can print out one day.
But seriously, these are my personal meanderings, so they may seem to veer aimlessly from subject to subject at times, but it's just from my perspective. My thoughts tend to be scattered, but hey...maybe yours are too!"

Yup that gem was how it all started. What the heck was the matter with me...what up??!! Oy the pain of the lameness I am known for. But none-the-less, a miracle happened. I stuck with it. I even exceeded any expectations I ever had in my dreams. I have often posted multiple times in a day! I have more than 400 posts. I, who can't write in a journal more than 2 days before forgetting about it and years pass, have been steadily writing for a year now!

I have been able to do things I never thought myself capable of. I decided after about 3 weeks maybe, that I was going to be 100% me on this blog. I was going to be honest and open and let it all hang out there, for the world to see. I decided to start writing about how I actually felt, to share my battle with depression and other mental disorders, like Social Anxiety and OCD. I decided to tell people I had a gastric bypass, and went into every minute detail of my experience with it. I decided I was just going to be me.

The more I wrote, the more something inside of me was set free. I was writing about things I didn't think I could ever talk about, not even to people I have known forever, and it was scary, but it was liberating too. Oh yeah, it has been scary. I worried what people would think of me, how I would be judged. If revealing the real me, would end up being a mistake. That it would make me lose these friends I was making through the Blog World, because they would see me as some sort of freak. But the feeling I got, as I wrote down my feelings and worries, it felt good. Scary but it felt so right too. Like talking out the bad, or even the good, from that day and sharing it, was helping me somehow. I still don't know how, but I can feel that this helps me.

And people were responding to me, encouraging me and giving me words of advice and love. Through luck I found Kristina in the beginning, and she suggested a few friends of hers as people to read and respond to, and they, a miracle to me, became my friends too. And then I found more and more amazing people that I liked and they liked me too and started leaving me comments. People actually found what I had to say worthwhile and interesting. Which gave me more courage to write and to comment on their blogs. It started getting easier to believe that people actually liked my blog.

Sure, I have my issues with self esteem, so I still worry, what will people think about this post? I wonder when I only get one or two people commenting, am I losing my friends, have I gotten less interesting? But the thing is, I am being me, and if I change my blog to attract more followers, is that worth it? It will mean I am not being myself and I think that is what has kept me blogging. For a whole year now. So if being myself means I never get over 60 readers, I am trying ( hey I am being honest) to be okay with that. It means those people actually care about me and what I have to say. They stick by me, through the good funny stories, and the rants about my darkest feelings. And those are the people who really count.

I have found a little piece of the net, where I belong. And I have found friends here who make the days easier, make the days funnier, just make my day sometimes with a simple comment. I have been blessed with the people I have encountered through my blog. No wonder, I have been able to keep at it. I have made too many friends, real friends, to want to stop talking to them about my days, or to stop hearing about theirs. I have learned so much from all of you. I have found people who actually LIKE me rambling about movies, and found their ramblings about movies fascinating to read.

I can only hope I can continue with this. This has been so good for me. In so many ways. This has been a place to express the real me and feel accepted. This has been almost like a journal, something I have never been able to do before. This has been therapeutic in some ways, because I have found people who have felt the same way and have given me hope and great advice.

I am so proud to have made it to One Year, and can't wait to say I have made it to another! In celebration of blogging for a whole year, I will be doing a giveaway when I get back to CT. This is no review and giveaway, but a Giveaway hosted solely by me, for you guys. I have some shopping to do, but I do have one thing I have been holding onto, from The Body Shop. That is all I will say for now. LOL.

So thank you for being great friends, and for reading my blog! I appreciate each and every one of you! And I hope in one year I can say it all again!!

Okay, Take OFF

Okay, I pre-typed this up yesterday, as I have to get up at like 4am to fly to the Mid-west. I have a post scheduled for Sunday, as it is a SPECIAL date, otherwise I am not sure I will get to a computer long enough to leave a post. If I do, it will probably be short and sweet, as it will either be the hotel's lobby computer or the enemies computer. But I don't want to use theirs, it would dirty my blog. Yup, I do think so. So I might say HI from the lobby if I get a chance, but I am not sure what will be really going on, so best not to promise anything. EXCEPT for Sunday! Please read that, promise me okay? It is a special post!!

Our flight takes off at 6:25am, and the whole security and crap, plus we need to get up there, and it is like a 45 minute drive, if we have no traffic. So I doubt I will get much sleep, even if I take my pills at 11pm, which is WAYYYY early for me, and may not work for an hour or so, so I will get only a couple hours of sleep. Oy. Then I get to get on two planes, we stop in Chicago, for hours, and when we arrive, we will feel like crap, and then get to go immediately see relatives. Hotel check-in isn't until 3pm and with losing an hour...or whatever it does, we could be at the realtive's by 1, max. Oy vey. I am tired just thinking of it.

SO, remember my friends, read my post on Sunday for sure! And the only reason I won't be leaving comments for the next 5-6 days, is I am gone...to a scary place too. BUT I will be back though, so don't forget about me!! Pray for me!! Seriously I might need it. ((HUGS)) Oh dear, here I go.

Tuesday Trivialities...lol

Okay People. Serious Business. Monster Squad and The Last Starfighter are CLASSICS! If you haven't seen them, I know for a FACT, that Walmart now has Monster Squad and last Starfighter has an anniversary edition out now. These are amazing movies, so fun, and were 2 of our family favorites! Moster Squad still IS! Okay, enough serious talk.

House was SO good last night!! I didn't realize how BAD I missed Hugh Laurie until his beautiful blue eyes lit up my TV screen! He can work off of anybody, he was alone with all new people and I was still enthralled and completely entertained! I swear I read in more than one magazine that half of the season was spent in this facility, but he is already out?? What the...?!! Maybe he plans on returning there for outpatient services? I don't know, it comfused me, but the episode was awesome. And House is off pain meds and has been given the thumbs up by a doctor, but he seems to BE House still. Please still be House!! I knew that bimbo from Bourne Identity would just brin him pain. Stop with the married ladies House!

And Heroes was a terriffic premiere too! It felt like it WAS back to it's original roots, but I loved all the seasons anyway, so I am good. But this was phenomenal. All the characters were involved and we got to see what they have been up to, and that them trying to live a sane, normal life, is just not going to happen! Yay! I miss Nathan. Even though the actor is still there, he is really Sylar, so I am a bit pouty about that. And I am actually fascinated by the new "Carnies". Plus, Castle premiered on ABC at 10, and that was as funny and smart as it was last season (it's half a season), so I was giddy! Beckett and Castle are so funny together, and it is always a hoot to see Castle at his weekly poker game with Stephen J. Cannell and James Patterson (2 real life famous mystery authors)! I love this show, and I bought the first Season today. I also bought the first season on The Mentalist and season 4 of Ghost Whisperer. Yayyyyy! It makes me happy! I also bought Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. I have never seen it, I wanted to sooo badly, but never got a chance to see it in the theaters. But I love romantic comedies. I love Matthew. And I love Jennifer in Rom-Com's.

Tonight I watched NCIS and it was terriffic, though I felt Gibbs and Abby withdrawal! LOL! It was great and I can't wait for next weeks. The gang is back in Washington DC and Ziva is not over her problems with Tony...even though he just saved her butt. Get over it Ziva, YOU made the boo-boo's by keeping Michael's secrets. Bad NCIS girl! Gibbs still has a right to be mad at YOU.

The bad news for NCIS LA? It was SO boring! And they make no mention of where Macey is. I knew there was some cast changes, but she was the boss, so I was at least expecting a MENTION that she transferred or retired or something. Stupid people need to tie loose ends together! I will probably give it an episode or two more, but if it doesn't improve, as much as I love you LL, I will have to nix you from my recording schedule. Sorry, but you make me snooze, you LOSE! So sad. All that hype too.

I have The Forgotten to try out tonight, starring the lovely Christian Slater. I hope it is good. I was sad not to LOVE My Own Worst Enemy last season. Not too sad though, as it was quickly axed! Phew! I will have to wait until I get back to see a lot of the premieres for this week, which makes me UPSET. We had to go out of state the week ALL the premieres happen. But once I do get back, I will tell you what I am thinking so far, as I always do. LOL.

I am currently starting to recharge all the gear I am taking on the plane. I worry about waiting until tommorrow, because we need to leave the house at like...*gulp*...4 am-ish!! So maybe it is best to charge everything tonight. I even got my Mom 2/3 packed. She has to work tommorrow still, so some items are last minute additions. My Dad seems to be packed. Seems I stress. I am getting very nervous now. I didn't think I could GET any more scared, but apparently I can! Now I am worried what happens if it is even WORSE than I imagine. What happens if we get to the relatives house and upon seeing those TWO, I lose it. I mean any kind of lose it. Crying, exploding, hyperventilating (I do this), etc. What if I lose it so bad...they lock me away for 72 hours?!! I am just so scared I cannot handle this. This whole situation has been too much for me, but now I have to face the people who have inflicted the pain on me, pain that I have to keep, at least for 18 years. And leaving Max? I am panicking! I have only been seperated from my lil guy 1-2 days at the most, for the last 4 years. Only when I had my surgery, did I have to go days without seeing him. And I was in agony, pain wise then, so it was easy to forget anything, the pain was so bad. He is who I spend the night with, his lil furry head against my legs. And I find it so comforting. I have cried when it is 2 days before and we are on our way to a vacation! This is NOT a vacation, and I am just very attached to my dog. He's my best boy. He knows when I am upset, and cuddles or gives me kisses. I am just freaking out, aren't I?

Flashback Movies 5

These trailers really bring back good memories for me. Makes me remember all sorts of movies I have not seen in years and that I now want badly. Looking back can be a good thing, and these movie trailers prove it, so have a good time, it's just trailers, you have the time!! Enjoy the memories or enjoy learning about some great movies you MUST see!

The Monster Squad (love this! We still watch it!)

Stand By Me (full of famous faces, including a chubby Jerry O'Connell and River Phoenix...sniff)


Short Circuit (Ally Sheedy and Steve Gutenberg star, but the robot is the real star!)


Teen Wolf (Michael J. Fox made this good)


The Last Starfighter (It was a movie we were shown I swear forever, some of it used to scare us when we were little, but then it just became a beloved movie, full of memories!)

Sea of Lists

I am just getting more preparations...and yes lists made, for the trip this week. I am going to miss my TV shows for like 3 major TV days, and I will NOT miss Supernatural or Fringe or Bones or...you get the idea. So I have 3 vcr/dvr's at my disposal and it is just enough, if I tape at super slow speeds. Yes! So I have a list for that. I have a Things to Charge the Night Before list. I have a Things to Pack before going to Sleep list. I have a grocery list for the girls while we are gone list. I have a packing list for my Mom, she is bad at packing and waits to the last minute people, she needs my help! So yes, I am in a sea of Lists! I even wrote out a list of our layovers and flight lengths, etc. I like to know when I can get OFF the plane. I told you, I suck at traveling! The official TSA site finally emailed me, because while I am checking a bag (I like to overpack and I bring my own toiletries thank you very much), my parents are carrying theirs online. And my Dad is a Diabetic too, and he needs Byetta needles daily and to check his glucose regularly, so I needed to know if he had to have special permission to bring it on board. Apparently not, if you show the security people the equipment, so now I have to decide if I should bring mine. But if my Dad brings his and extra lancets, I should be fine I think.

I re-dyed my hair tonight. I want it to be it's shiniest reddest when I go out there. So if there is any pictures I want taken with a certain relative, my hair is at it's best. Roll your eyes if you must, but these pictures could be framed or put in albums so I want my hair to be ME.

See, even with all the newest lists I create, the red makes me smile! Remember, it is my Autumn time Red. My true Red is REDDDDDDD. But it fits my darker mood and will look nice since the leaves are already starting to change here in CT.

P.S. I can't recall if I posted this song before, but even if I did, I love the Jesse James song "Blue Jeans". She based it off the beats she heard when she was on a step team in college. So cool!

Photo Ready

Fall is definitely not far off here in CT!! It is 44 degrees outside and lovely! I can't wait for days where I wear jeans and a light sweater! I am going to miss my beloved flip-flops, but I love cuddling in blankets and wearing my snazzy shoes. Some of which I have owned more than a year and have yet to wear! MUST remedy that! Sleeping when it is cold outside is the best! Sure the first few minutes you are shivering, more so in the winter months, but after a few minutes you are in a coccoon of warmth! Such a great sleep you get! Can't wait for the fall season to really be upon us!!

Well my father has decided he is not bringing his laptop to...the Midwest. And I was counting on this. Everyday I could transfer the pictures I took from that day onto the computer, erase them from my camera and start fresh the next day. I am the only person bringing a camera (well 2) and so I have been kind of appointed the photographer. So this was a huge deal to me. My Nikon, I have 2 4gb cards, but the more video you take, the less pictures you can take. And we may want a binch of video footage. And my Kodak card is small, only 22 minutes of video or 100 photos. Not both! A lot of my blog friends know what I am going to be wanting to take pictures of and how important that is, etc. So I started freaking out! So before Target closed I went down with my Mom to Target to look at memory cards. Only problem was, I had no idea if my Kodak was SDHC compatible. If it isn't, you can't get a card bigger than 2gb, and I wanted a 4 gb, to feel a sense of security. Like all of a sudden, we are at these relatives and the most awesome photo op appears and...oh sorry, my camera's are all full! No!!! So, we ended up asking the guy, if we get the model number can you find out for us? They HAVE computers. He is like "uhmmm...like, No. We don't have like a list of models and what goes with what...no....sorry". Thanks dude. You are SO helpful. Not. So we called Sandy, she not only could access the net, but we have the exact same Kodak, and she is uber-organized in the "keeping manuals in one place" category. So we found out we are SDHC compatible so I bought a 4gb card.

The only other option was to bring MY laptop, and that is just too much. Not only is every inch of my carry-on stuffed with heavy equipment already (dvd player, 2 cameras, dvd's, Ipod, headphones, Nintendo DS, etc) and weighs like 50 pounds, but the laptop would mean I was brining EVERY single expensive item I own! And what happenes if something happenes to it? This is my laptop, where I go to blog and share my feelings and emotions and adventures! I would be so upset if it was damaged. I will be upset if any of my equipment gets damaged, but the laptop is THE most expensive item I own. And I seriously cannot live without it! I would go in withdrawal, and I could NOT afford to replace it at this point! I can't afford my phone anymore, so a new laptop? NO!

So hopefully, I am over prepared in the photo department, but I don't know. I LOVE to take pictures!! And this is a state I am not in like ever, so I might find things I want to take pictures of, just because.

Packing Patrol

I spent the night packing. Sure, we don't leave for 6 days, but I am a perpetual early packer. I make lists, with check boxes and everything. I like to feel like I have some time and space before we leave so if I suddenly remember something I forgot, I have plenty of time to remember that item. And sure, I probably feel some sense of control in it. I feel out of control in regards to most everything, so this tiny bit of control feels good.

And yes, packing for the Mid-West so early, has limited my current wardrobe. I never have a problem with t-shirts, I have too many to ever run out for a 5 day trip...or much longer, but it is everything else. Bras, gauchos/capri's, sleep shirts, etc. Yup, I may need them still, but I have them in a suitcase already. I'd rather scramble for outfits for the next 6 days, than pack at the last second. I sure hope the hotel has an iron because my Sunday clothes are going to look like crap! It will be weird to go to church in a different state. Except for that horrible experience living in Florida, I have only ever gone to church in CT. And except for not knowing a lot of people at the other wards, it still feels like church. Which it didn't in Florida, so we will see how church feels in the Mid-West.

Anyway, I even packed my carry-on. I had to unpack it after, because I will need to charge everything up before we go. I just wanted to make sure everything would fit. When all packed, and yes it fits, it is HEAVY. But I do not trust any of my precious electronics to checked baggage. I am bringing both my camera's and their cords, etc. I am bringing my Ipod and its' charger and headphones. I am bringing my Nintendo DS, it's charger and my games. And I am bringing the portable DVD player and a bunch of DVD's. I don't trust the luggage people, and music, movies and games are to divert my attention.

I don't travel well. In Planes or cars. Besides getting motion sickness sometimes, I get very claustraphobic. Even flying down to Florida, which is maybe 3 hours, I start to get panicky half way in. I feel trapped and like I am going to explode out of my skin. So last time Sandy made me play Super Mario Brothers and that distracted me until the last 30 minutes of the flight. SO I am arming myself, for this longer flight. I am not even sure WHEN we get there, I have never (well Iowa when I was a kid, but like kids notice) flown west so that there is a time change. Weird. And the trip home we have like 3 layovers, so I think we travel a total of 9 hours that day. I am hoping that the layover spots will have those stations where you can plug things in, so maybe I can charge our old dvd player, which only lives about 3 hours, so I can use it the whole way back. I didn't know airports even had stations like that until this last Florida trip. Our CT airport just recently got a few, but at this one airport, can't remember which state, they had them everywhere! Very cool, and handy.

So the trip is almost here. Scary. And I don't travel well at all. Great. The hotel looks sweet, even though it is a one room suite and I am sleeping on a couch bed. But the hotel is NEW. They are all new, these Cambria Suites, and there is 2 plasma tv's, a dvd player, a fridge, a microwave, a pool, etc. And everything looks so pretty. Brand NEW pretty. I love that! New means clean! So my germaphobic CSI-watching self can be a smidge less leary. They even have a 24 hour sundry shop with snacks and a Barista bar (don't know when that closes) that sells sandwiches and salads, it kind of looks like the ones in airports. LOL! And their restaurant serves Cheesecake Factory desserts! Forget dinners which will probably be pricey, get me some cheesecake with strawberry topping! Mmm. And I hope we get to go to the Mall Of America. There will be times when....all is quiet and there will be nothing much we can do, so I hope we get to go. I know we won't be doing the amusement park in the middle of it, but the unique shops, would be fun. I love to shop and it releives stress for me. And I am betting I will need that. So fingers crossed!

Friday Fragments

This is my first attempt at Friday Fragments, let us see how it goes.

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I hate Egg McMuffins. I don't know what happened, I used to love them, now I can't stand them. I like our homemade ones, we do for special occasions, but otherwise I find them revolting. The egg is yucky, that canadian "bacon" is horrendous looking. It just makes me gag, even the thought of them.
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I really don't see how parents can send their kids off to these camps where they are supposed to be "fixed", without doing more than mere research online. This "Tough Love" approach made popular in the 1970's can be insane. There have been over 40 reported deaths in these camps (reported people), and studies have mentioned it is unknown how many kids will have lasting psychological problems. A majority of these camps are dangerous, and the kids are not safe. If your child is THAT messed up, that a place like this is the last option, here is what you do. YOU go out to the facility for an in-depth inspection. You talk to people in the surrounding towns about this camp,etc. You make sure social services checks in a lot! Because you are trusting your child to complete strangers and paying them to take them. Will they be mistreated? You need to know. Because abuse is not the answer to your problem child's problems.
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We are in the middle of talking about cell phone plans. Ours expires mid-October. I can't afford the plan again. When the market basically crashed, I lost 80% of my savings. While it has gone up a little bit, I still have to be able to pay for my Medical Transcription degree/certificate that I think I will do, as you can supposedly work from home. But my parents are not willing to have me phone less anymore. The hypoglycemia I experience with my Diabetes has gotten bad in the last few years, so they want me to be able to call for help if I get it and can't drive home, or need 911. So they are looking at which will save them more money, keeping me on the family plan, or getting a pay-as-you-go plan. I am just thankful they are willing to help me out with this. Basically I only call my family and text them. I sometimes text with Weezie and Stina, but that is it. I know, sad, I never get texts! And I like texts, no talking on the phone. So I don't use many actual minutes. Katie basically used all our minutes every month...she should have to pay the biggest part of the bill, but Dad won't so that to her while she is in school.
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Itunes 9 has screwed up everything. And I am not the only one having problems, there are too many bugs in it, and sadly you can't really go backwards, I wish! I had Limewire downloads open automatically in Itunes, even creating a folder automatically in the Itunes folder. I loved this and only figured out i could do it 2 months ago, and now it won't work! Bloody Itunes!
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I picked up a bag of the Tostitos with Lime, because a few of my blog buddies, adore them. I can't decide if I like them or not. The flavor is unique, but is it in a good way or a bad way? I can't make up my mind.
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I am so sad about Patrick Swayze still. I LOVE Dirty Dancing and Ghost. But make sure you see his comedic side. "To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" is hilarious. Yes Patrick is one ugly woman, but so is Wesley Snipes.Whoa. John Leguizamo though, so convincing as a female...it is scary!!
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I LOVE the judges on SYTYCD!! They are so funny! I loved when Nigel walked off, pure gold! And next week we have Tyce!! He is SO brutally honest, it will be sweet!! And it is East Coasters time! Yeah!
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I haven't needed Calamine lotion in two days!! Yay!
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Glee is weird, I don't know how long I will stick with it though, there will be much better things on soon. And a teacher cutting his thumbs off because he is addicted to cough syrup...ooookaaayyy. And then they sing him "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"...it just may not be my kind of show. I love the singing as I am a huge musicals fan, but the whole faking a pregnancy because she thought she was pregnant, etc...I watch soaps, this is just weird in a sorta comedy show. Oy.
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Bones was strange tonight. Booth loving Bones, but it may go away? Booth not knowing he loves weird socks, ties and belt buckles? *sob* I want Booth back! And it seemed like they distanced the rest of the cast. Hodgins and Angela and Cam were like put in the background, and while they never had the airtime of our main guy and gal, they were never background characters. And I miss Zak still! There wasn't even anyone temping in this week. I hope it is just getting back in stride, because I adore this show!
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I love Thursdays now! I still have Fringe, Supernatural, Survivor, Vampire Diaries and Top Model tonight! Yeah! Okay, I think my fragmented mind is done...I think.

9/17 Vlog Emotions

Moon's Glow

It was like, what, a week and a half back, that we had a full moon. I went outside with my new faux-SLR Nikon, that I love, and took some pictures. The sky was just beautiful. It wasn't just the moon, but the clouds all around it. It was amazing. Now some of the pics are slightly burred, because unless you set your camera up on a tripod, you are not going to get the steadiest picture. When you take shots of the moon, in the dark, the aperture and f-stop are really slow. Meaning you click the button to take a shot, and it takes about 8 seconds for the picture to be taken. The lens stays open for a long time...that might be only understandable to other people into photography, but I still thought I'd share the information.

So I thought I would share these pictures with you. Maybe, they are not that good, but for whatever reason, I am really proud of them, and I really love them. So here I am, sharing. All pictures can be clicked on to make them bigger.

Maybe they are nothing special, but I really felt proud and amazed at their beauty, which I can see anyway.

Distract me Please

Errands went really crappy today. Picking up my pre-rented dvd's from Redbox was fine, it was another Walmart situation, and it wasn't even MY Walmart. I wanted to go to the Wallingford Walmart, because they have my OJ, cheese snacks and they are the only Eplay dvd kiosk that has the horror movie Boot Camp which I really want to see. So I drive all the way there, late because I forgot to set my alarm clock, and the dvd kiosk is down, like don't expect it to be fixed anytime soon. And then they didn't have my OJ either, so it felt like such a waste of gas going there. And of course I got OCD. I wanted that movie, and the horror movie, Grace, so I decided, why not try and see if the next closest Walmart had it in their kiosk.

I had Gabby, that is what we call our GPS system, and it claimed it was only 9 miles away. Gabby lied people. I drove for over 25 minutes, and I didn't even have to enter the Walmart. I got up to the doors and saw that it said that kiosk was down too!! Agghh!!So the drive home took forever. And I decided, you know what? Screw it, I will pay the pull price at Hollywood to rent Boot Camp. On the back roads there, I was behind one car, and that car had NO one in front of him. And I was a car length behind him. All of a sudden he slammed on his breaks, no warning, and I had to slam on mine so hard, the tires squealed and I know I burned rubber. I was positive I was going to hit HIM and that would mean, I'd get blamed for the accident, even though it was his fault. Then he just started going again, because NO one was in front of him! This scared the crap out of me, and I was already frustrated! Then I got to Hollywood and all two copies of the movie, are STILL gone. I have been checking for 2 weeks now! It was like the last straw, I got home and I felt like I was having an anxiety attack. I just could not breathe.

Sandy decided to distract me, she, Kate and I should go see a movie. So we went and saw Whiteout, because contrary to popular believe, it is NOT a horror movie, it IS indeed about Antartica's first murder, which Kate Beckinsdale has to solve. I really enjoyed it. It is a thriller mystery. Kate plays Kerry, a US Marshall, stationed at this BIG US camp in Antartica, where they study ice cores and all that jazz. She has some issues she has left over from her last assignment, NOT in the frozen tundra. Her best friend, the Doc, played by Tom Skerrit is retiring when they head out in a few days, and Kerry plans on resigning from Marshals also. It is almost winter there and that means darkness for 6 months, and so everyone in the facility, except for the winter sign-ups is packing up to go, and partying.

Then Kerry finds a body and realizes it was murder. And the storm that is approaching is getting closer. Kerry goes to another part of Antartica with a pilot, and as she investigates, looking for the dead man's team leader, she finds him dying and the killer is there. And he chases her, but luckily she gets away from him. And when she wakes up, her wounds wrapped by the pilot, they are confronted by a man claiming he was sent when the station's manager reported the crime. As they explore the last section the dead men's team were exploring, Kerry falls through the ice finding an ice chamber that houses a Russian plane, and they figure out that the men found this and found something inside that got them killed. They have to get back to the main base. All personell are told they are leaving, no one is remaining, while a serial killer is at large. And the evacuation is moved up as the storm is now almost on top of them.

Can Kerry let go of her past, so she can solve this crime? When she finds the killer, will she find out what they discovered that turned someone into a killer? Who can Kerry trust? Will Kerry have to stay behind to catch this killer? Can she survive another 6 months in this forsaken place? Just when you think you know some of the answers to these questions, you are thrown for a few more loops, and a little more action.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and it was a great distraction, as I finally feel calm and relaxed! I am off to watch a horror movie called Back Woods, and maybe Next Day Air.

It is just over a week until I leave for the Mid-west, to visit those relatives and I am quite worried. I will try to be civil, but they had better not try to act like nothing happened. Or try and ask me personal questions, because they no longer have that right. I am scared I can't handle this. And I am so projecting my worries, but I just can't seem to stop. I am a human projector. Oy. Back into movie groove, Wen, movies are such an escape!

Fall Stories!!

Hello Upper Eastsiders, it's that time again...LOL! Just kidding. But it goes along perfectly with my post. The return of school means one thing, my most favorite time of the year. Fall TV premieres! Ahhhh I have been waiting months for you!

Finally I will get to see about Fringe's alternate universe. Watch whether Sylar/Nathan will learn he IS Sylar and not Nathan. If House really is crazy and what he will be like...*gasp*...vicodin-free!! Will Chuck really be able to stay faithful to Blair? Will One Tree Hill succeed with no Lucas or Peyton? Can the Lightman group keep fascinating me with their body reading skills? Will Castle looking into Beckett's moms murder sever their tenuous relationship? Why the crap was Ziva being beaten within an inch of her life? Will Naomi ever find out Liam slept with her sister and NOT killer Annie? Can short girls rock the modeling industry? Will Hotch live?!! How long is Booth's amnesia going to last, and will they ever bring Zak back already?!! Who will be the neswest baddie on Survivor, I hear this years guy is a doozie! Will someone please cleanup on aisle CSI, because it went down the tube last season right after Grissom left, and I worry it has been irrevocably destroyed! Can Sam and Dean fight Lucifer and win, and PLEASE Eric Kripke, give me more seasons or I will kill you I swear! You take Jensen Ackles away from me and I will KILL you! Can Jane ever get over his wife and daughter's death or will Red John destroy his life ALL over again? Will the time leap forward 5 years work for Melinda and Jim/Sam, or will her ghostly ways be ruined?! And how special is their son with powers unlike Melinda's, but GREATER? Will Allison wake up from her coma so she can continue to help Devalos put away bad guys? Can Charlie and Don save Amita? Do I care anymore, I can't decide!! Will Lois return from the future and what will she now know about Clark? And can Chloe get Clark to be himself again or is he lost for good? And please give me more Oliver/Green Arrow, because Justin Hartley (while married) is HOT! Now that Echo has a new handler, the FBI guy who cared about finding her, is she now stuck in the Dolhouse until her contract expires? And is that whole episode from the future (only on the dvd set) set in stone? Is that definitely where the show is going, because seeing Whiskey like that...not cool yo! And after all the crap she has been through, cancer, being held hostage, etc, did you have to make poor Lynette pregnant again? And with twins!! Again! And please tell me Ryan is either going to be phased out of the Walker's life, or he will get interesting, because so far...yawn! And less Kitty, more Justin and Kevin!

Ahhhhh...that felt good to get off my chest! LOL! YES I AM looking forward to the return of my shows. I record on many dvr's/vcr's and then watch them at my leisure later in the night...it is MY time. Yay! Okay I may be clapping inside my head and hopping up and down. But I have mentioned repeatedly, Wendy = movie & TV addict. Yup, and proud of it!

So, Fall TV also means another exciting thing. NEW TV shows to try out! And there are some good looking ones on the menu this year. Melrose Place actually premiered this past week. I am not sure if I will be a faithful follower at this point. They trashed Melrose Place history by bringing Sydney back from the dead. I mean I SAW her die, and she was finally in a good place in her life. So her having faked her death? Stupid mockery of MP history. And then they do the ultimate sin on top of that. KILL her within 5 minutes of the show's premiere! I am not invested at this point in ANY other character, so why would you kill the golden goose?! Morons!!

NCIS:Los Angeles I will give you a shot. But you better step it up from your NCIS crossover, because you were not all that interesting. And the characters are what makes NCIS work! The only character that piqued my interest was the psychologist guy. Even my beloved L.L. needs some oomph of personality, otherwise I will sump your sorry butts ASAP!! Get with the program or make room for a better CBS drama!

The Forgotten looks interesting. And I love that they have added Christian Slater to the mix now. People whose job it isn't, work to try and give victims back their identities. All the characters have different reasons for doing this and I think that dynamic, plus solving these "cases" could be very interesting.

Glee I am only trying you out because I like the singing. That is all I have to say besides, get more amusing, or I QUIT you!

Mercy looks promising. I like the idea of an ER drama from the nurses point of view. And I hated Hawthorne, so I am ready for a good one. I like the idea of the main character being just out of the army and now has to transfer from soldier nurse to dealing with everyday people and problems. Not just amputations and other serious illnesses now. Now we have alzheimer's and plastic surgery and such.

I admit it, I look forward to trying out The Beautiful Life. I like drama, and one about the modelling world sounds like a fun ride. Lots of talented actors too, including Mischa Barton, Sara Paxton and Corbin Bleu. I want to see behind the scenes of the so-called SUPER models, and what they are really like...and eat...and act. LOL.

Eastwick looks fun. I am not sure HOW they can turn that awesome movie into a series that can go on a long time, but I am willing to go along for the ride and see if I feel the magic. If the show can be even HALF as good as the movie, then I will be hooked. I love magic and fantasy, and humor on top of it all? That would be icing on top of one delicious cake!

Flash Forward looks like THE show of the 2009 TV show premieres! What an awesome concept. The whole world blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds and sees a glimpse of their futures in 6 months. And not everyone is happy with what they see. So you have people doing whatever they can to change their futures, and then you have the desperate people who are crazed trying to make sure this future DOES happen! And the cast is stellar!! Dominic Monaghan, John Cho, Joseph Fiennes, etc!! This show is going to be dynamite!!

I saw the premiere of The Vampire Diaries and so far it seems interesting. 80% off from the books they are based on, but that is okay with me. I would like it if I don't know which way they are going with the characters. They made characters that don't exist in L.J. Smith's books, they made people related who are FAR from it in the books. So I am hoping Kevin Williamson will go with his own direction and leave the human-to-vampire-to-dead-to-angel-to- human again thing to Smith. She makes it all make sense, in it's own way, and that may be too much for a TV show. So Kevin, bring on that creativity that made Dawson's Creek one of the WB's first hits (after Buffy of course).

And I am going to try Three Rivers for one simply delicious reason. Alex O'Loughlin. He played the dreamy vampire Mick St. John on Moonlight before they foolishly took that away, and he is simply jaw-droppingly beautiful! And they are transplant surgeons, or some such nonsense. Did I mention I will try it because of Alex? Mmmm!

That is it for shows premiering this fall. There are some I am looking forward to for the mid-season, but best to talk about them when they are almost premiering, and are a definite GO.

What shows are you excited to see return? And which new ones are you willing to give a shot? I am all ears! Let's talk TV!!

Schooling on Sunday - Diabetes Type 2

I decided to write up a bit about my Diabetes, since a lot of people were surprised to hear about Diabetics having major problem with their feet and legs. It is a disease you really should know about, because you may know someone who could use someone to look out for them, or someday you may notice something that could indicate you have Diabetes. There are 4 types of Diabetes: Type 1 Diabetes, Type 2 Diabetes, Gestational Diabetes and Pre-Diabetes. I have type 2 Diabetes. I was diagnosed over 6 or maybe more years ago. My father, also a Diabetic, noticed I was thirsty ALL the time, and I was constantly peeing, so he checked my sugar level which at that time was around 600. Your normal number when you have not just eaten should be around 110. That is a good number. So I was sent to the MD's and had a bunch of tests and was diagnosed with Type 2. I have used most of my info directly from a Diabetes website, and included the links for certain things. So if you want to learn MORE, about even one condition or concern, you can just click on that one link. I hope SOME of you will show some interest and actually read this. Or if you really won't read any of it, if you have any questions, I will do my best to answer them. Because Diabetes has no cure, and it is not just our feet/legs we have to take special care of. And maybe if a friend or loved one gets this disease, you will want to know to look out for their feet, eyes, skin and other health concerns.
Type 2 diabetes is the most common form of diabetes. In type 2 diabetes, either the body does not produce enough insulin or the cells ignore the insulin. Insulin is necessary for the body to be able to use glucose for energy. When you eat food, the body breaks down all of the sugars and starches into glucose, which is the basic fuel for the cells in the body. Insulin takes the sugar from the blood into the cells. When glucose builds up in the blood instead of going into cells, it can cause two problems:

• Right away, your cells may be starved for energy.
• Over time, high blood glucose levels may hurt your eyes, kidneys, nerves or heart.

Finding out you have diabetes is scary. But don't panic. Type 2 diabetes is serious, but people with diabetes can live long, healthy, happy lives.

While diabetes occurs in people of all ages and races, some groups have a higher risk for developing type 2 diabetes than others. Type 2 diabetes is more common in African Americans, Latinos, Native Americans, and Asian Americans/Pacific Islanders, as well as the aged population.

Conditions & Treatments

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In type 2 diabetes, the body fails to properly use insulin, which is needed to take sugar from the blood to the cells. You can learn more about some conditions (including hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia) and how to prevent them in this section. You will also find helpful information about insulin, diagnostic tests and tips on what to expect from your health care provider.

Hypoglycemia
Hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, can happen even during those times when you're doing all you can to control your diabetes. * I have this if not every day, at least every other day. It is one of the scariest feelings you will ever experience. You shake so badly and feel like passing, but you MUST stay awake.

Hyperglycemia
Hyperglycemia is a major cause of many of the complications that happen to people who have diabetes. For this reason, it's important to know what hyperglycemia is, what its symptoms are, and how to treat it.

What is Hyperosmolar Hyperglycemic Nonketotic Syndrome (HHNS)?
Hyperosmolar Hyperglycemic Nonketotic Syndrome, or HHNS, is a serious condition most frequently seen in older persons. HHNS can happen to people with either type 1 or type 2 diabetes, but it occurs more often in people with type 2.

Managing Your Blood Glucose
Keeping your blood sugar as close to normal as possible helps you feel better and reduces the risk of long-term complications of diabetes. Learn about checking your blood sugar, tight diabetes control, and an A1C test.

About Insulin
In people with type 2 diabetes, either the body does not produce enough insulin, or the cells ignore the insulin.

Insulin Pumps
Learn how you can use an insulin pump to help manage your diabetes.

Other Medications for Type 2 Diabetes
The first treatment for type 2 diabetes is often meal planning for blood sugar control, weight loss, and exercising. Sometimes these measures are not enough to bring blood sugar down near the normal range. The next step is taking a medicine that lowers blood glucose levels.

Transplantation
Diabetes sometimes damages kidneys so badly that they no longer work. When kidneys fail, one option is a kidney transplant.

Related Conditions
Learn more about Agent Orange, hemochromatosis and frozen shoulder, and how they relate to type 2 diabetes, in this section.

Common Concerns

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When You're Sick
Being sick can make your blood glucose (sugar) level go up very high. It can also cause serious conditions that can put you in a coma. The best way to prevent a minor illness from becoming a major problem is to work out a plan of action for sick days ahead of time.

Flu & Pneumonia Shots
Having the flu can be dangerous for anyone. But it is extra risky for people with diabetes or other chronic health problems.

When You Travel
Planning a trip? Whether you're camping or cruising, you can go anywhere and do almost anything. It just takes a little planning ahead to handle your diabetes.

Tips for Emergency Preparedness
Recent concerns about terrorist attacks have simply increased our awareness of the need to be prepared if a disaster strikes. People with diabetes must consider proper diabetes care when they make emergency plans.

Anger
Diabetes is the perfect breeding ground for anger. Anger can start at diagnosis with the question, "Why me?" You may dwell on how unfair diabetes is: "I'm so angry at this disease! I don't want to treat it. I don't want to control it. I hate it!"

Depression
Feeling down once in a while is normal. But some people feel a sadness that just won't go away. Life seems hopeless. Feeling this way most of the day for two weeks or more is a sign of serious depression.

Denial
Denial is that voice inside repeating: "Not me." Most people go through denial when they are first diagnosed with diabetes. "I don't believe it. There must be some mistake," they say.

Discrimination
Diabetes should not be a cause of discrimination in the workplace, daycare centers, or public schools. Our Legal Advocacy division fights to ensure that disabilities rights laws protect people with diabetes.

Your Body's Well Being

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Make it a priority to take good care of your body. The time you spend now on eye care, foot care and skin care, as well as your heart health and oral health, could delay or prevent the onset of dangerous diabetes complications later in life. In addition, one of the best things you can do for your body is to stop smoking.

Heart Disease and Stroke
People with diabetes have extra reason to be mindful of heart and blood vessel disease. Diabetes carries an increased risk for heart attack, stroke, and complications related to poor circulation.

Skin Care

As many as one-third of people with diabetes will have a skin disorder caused or affected by diabetes at some time in their lives. In fact, such problems are sometimes the first sign that a person has diabetes. Luckily, most skin conditions can be prevented or easily treated if caught early.

Foot Care

People with diabetes can develop many different foot problems. Foot problems most often happen when there is nerve damage in the feet or when blood flow is poor. Learn how to protect your feet by following some basic guidelines.

Eye Care

Diabetes can cause eye problems and may lead to blindness. People with diabetes do have a higher risk of blindness than people without diabetes. Early detection and treatment of eye problems can save your sight.

Oral Health & Oral Hygiene
If you have diabetes, you are at a higher risk for gum disease and other mouth-related problems. Learn more about maintaining good dental health.

Smoking

Kicking the smoking habit is hard, but worth the work. Tobacco has many bad health effects, particularly for people with diabetes. No matter how long you've smoked, your health will improve when you quit.

Alcohol
Alcohol is everywhere: at family gatherings, at cookouts, after the company softball game, and at parties. One very common question is "What would you like to drink?" If you have diabetes, what do you say?

Stress
Stress results when something causes your body to behave as if it were under attack. Sources of stress can be physical, like injury or illness. Or they can be mental, like problems in your marriage, job, health, or finances.

Women and Diabetes

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Today, almost 21 million children and adults in the US have diabetes -- including 9.7 million women -- and almost one third of them do not know it. Diabetes can be especially hard on women. The burden of diabetes on women is unique, because the disease can affect both mothers and their unborn children. Diabetes can cause difficulties during pregnancy such as a miscarriage or a ba

by born with birth defects. Women with diabetes are also more likely to have a heart attack, and at a younger age, than women without diabetes.

Diabetes is the fifth-deadliest disease in the United States, and it has no cure. For women who do not currently have diabetes, pregnancy brings the risk of gestational diabetes. Gestational diabetes develops

in 2% to 5% of all pregnancies but disappears when a pregnancy is over. Women who have had gestational diabetes or have given birth to a baby weighting more than 9 pounds are at an increased risk for developing type 2 diabetes later in life.

The prevalence of diabetes is at least 2-4 times higher among African American, Hispanic/Latino, American Indian, and Asian/Pacific Islander women than among white women. The risk for diabetes

also increases with age. Because of the increasing lifespan of women and the rapid growth of minority populations, the number of women in the United States at high risk for diabetes and its complications is increasing.

ADA's Women and Diabetes Workgroup

Because of the significant impact diabetes has on women, the American Diabetes Association created the Women and Diabetes Workgroup. Its mission is to represent, involve, and affect all women in our efforts to prevent and cure diabetes and improve the lives of people affected by this disease. This will

be accomplished through gender and culturally tailored strategies to direct the Association's activities and through targeted research, information, and advocacy efforts.

Read an overview (PDF) of how ADA is currently working to improve the lives of women with, and at risk for, diabetes.

To receive information about women and diabetes, call our Call Center at 1-800-DIABETES (342-2383).

To share your thoughts and ideas about how to best address women's health issues, contact the Workgroup by sending an email to askada@diabetes.org.

Bad Food, Good Flick + A Winner

Sam took me and the parents out to dinner tonight. My Dad was really PRO Ruby Tuesdays, and though I don't particularly like it, or my Mom, we agreed to go. I was told they had changed their menu again, so I was willing to give it a shot. We sat down and looked over the menu...had it changed much? Nope. It was mostly burgers, which is NOT what Ruby Tuesday's was all about when it first opened. I used to love the menu and the salad bar. Now, salad bar is still there, but the menu just, to me, sucks. If I wanted just a good gourmet-ish burger, I would go to Red Robin...which also has a better selection of food, I KNOW those burgers are good. But I decided to go with something new, in hopes I'd find a gem, so I ordered the Chicken Fresco. (A fresh, all-natural grilled chicken breast topped with seasonal vine-ripened tomatoes, lemon-butter sauce, and a splash of balsamic vinaigrette. Served with fresh, steamed broccoli and white cheddar mashed potatoes.) Sounds yummy right? So I went with that and to save Sam money, I forgoed the salad bar. I also ordered a Strawberry Lemonade.

Well the first thing I think is a problem at R.T., is that unless you get the salad bar, you sit there starving until your meal is served. No bread, or rolls, or anything. Which I think is a huge mistake. Especially when other people at the table did get the salad bar, or got is AS their meal, and you watch them eat and are dying of hunger and they finish before you even get your beverage. Yup, apparently making a strawberry lemonade is really hard and time consuming. When I finally got it, I was starving so I took a few big gulps, and gasped at the horrid taste I got as it went down! It was disgusting! And all 4 of us ended up trying it and hating it. We have no idea if the lemonade was rancid or if there was alcohol in it, but it was grotesque! I sent it back and asked that it be taken off the check. I was NOT willing to give them another chance (or 25 minutes) to get it right. Yuck! I could not get the taste out of my mouth either. Finally my meal arived and the add on turkey burgers for Dad and Sam. My Mom just had salad bar and was long done. The first 2 bites I thought were delicious, then I realized it was just because I was so hungry. When I actually tasted my food, I realized the chicken had NO flavor...uhm where is this lemon-butter sauce??! And it was tough. And the potatoes were too strong for ME, the potato lover. I was starving so I ate a bunch of Sam's fries. The rough chicken was just not good and not filling. My Mom picked at it too, and while she liked the potatoes, she hated the chicken and non-sauce too. It just felt like a big frustrating waste to me.

We went back home and I looked up movie times for Sorority Row. My Mom said she would go see it with me, even though she doesn't LOVE horror movies, but she does better than anyone else with them. So we went to a 10:05 showing. Saw some good movie trailers, I have seen before. Like The Stepfather, and The Box. Cool looking movies! And then I saw a BRAND new trailer for New Moon that rocked!! And I have seen many posted online here and on trailer sites. It was awesome!

I really liked the movie. It had the traditional horror movie formula that I think is a winner and doesn't need to be mutilated. Examples of mutilating the formula is gross horror like The Hostel movies or The Hills Have Eyes franchise which I have never and will never watch. It reminded me of the reason I first started to like scary movies. The overall sense just reminded me of the past of the horror genre, but in a good way. It was well made and had unexpected twists, which is why my Mom said she didn't hate it. She liked the surprises they gave us. As you may have gotten from the commercials, Meagan wants some revenge on her boyfriend for cheating on her. So with the help of 5 of her sorority sisters (well 3 knew about it, 2 were in the dark) , she devises a plan to make her boyfriend think he killed her. And the 5 sisters help Garrett out when he freaks out because Meagan is foaming at the mouth, and help him bring Meagan to a hospital, but they get "lost" on the way. Then Meagan "dies" and they decide what would be best is if they hack up her body and get rid of the evidence. But they are so convincing to Garrett (and one of these sisters is his REAL sister), that while they are not looking, he takes the tire iron and shoves it into her chest. You see, they made comments about her not sinking if she had air in her lungs so he decided to SOLVE that problem. Only now Meagan is dying, and while Cass and Ellie try to save her, she dies. Most of them want to go get help immediately, but then Queen-Bee Jessica starts reminding them all of what they will lose. And that Garrett, Chugs own brother, will go to prison. Chugs does not like this, so she starts agreeing with Jessica, and then Claire is agreeing too. Her father would die if he found out what they had done. Cassidy was like NO, we have to tell, this was a joke gone wrong and it was Garrett that killed her. She asks Ellie to go along with her, but Ellie is the weak one and caves. So then Garrett threatens Cass, and she is all, what are you going to do, kill me? Which makes him collapse. She walks off, trying to get cell reception. The other 4 wrap up Meagan's body and bring her to what looks like a well to me, but is a mine shaft. They shove the body in and you hear it when it hits the bottom. Cass shows up, saying she can't get cell reception and asks WHAT did they do. They then all turn on her. They wrapped up Cass's coat with Meagan, so if she blabs, they will all say SHE killed Meagan. So this solidifies the Tell No One decision.

So 8 months go by and the girls graduate. Cass has distanced herself from the sorority and lives with her boyfriend Andy. She is however, expected to go to the graduation luncheon because her Mom is a former member and will expect it. And while she is there, they ase her to help set up for the Graduation night party and she finally agrees to for Ellie's sake. Ellie is so weak and emotional. That is when they all get a text of the bloody tire iron and Chugs decided it is just her brother and his new weird sense of humor. Oh if only it was just a joke. This is where the deaths begin. And you keep thinking, okay it has to be this person, but the killer is so unexpected, that is what makes it a good scary movie! Sure the reasons the killer kills are insane, but so are Jason's reasons, or Freddie's, etc. The killer IS insane after all. But it is just so, Whoa, I did not see that one coming, that makes it so good. I liked it. And I liked that it had a resolved ending. Sure there is one thing that makes it either possible to have a sequel, or something to always make you wonder, but that was cool too.

Who is the killer? Do any of the sisters make it out alive? Is it Meagan back from the dead? Is the one person, Cass, who wanted to get help spared? You will have to go see it to find out, because I am not spoiling the ending, or who gets killed, how, and why! :)

ALSO, The Winner of the $10 Stop and Shop card IS: Julie!! Email me your info and the card will be on it's way!

Dermatologist Appt.

So I went to the dermatologist, Sam came with me, and filled out all that bloody paperwork. It was funny because it was in Building C of this little office complex, and building B is where I went to my pediatrician until he died when I was about 12. Same doctor from when I was a baby, until he was no longer with us. I remember the awesome lollipops he gave out, he was such a sweet man. I tried 2 other doctors after he died, for awhile, but finally ended up going to my current doctor, who is also a member of my church. So that is cool. Anyway, it was just weird being back there, it made me remember the clown paintings he had up everywhere, and how I am now...terrified of clowns. Hmmm. LOL. It just seemed so familiar, but like it was a lifetime ago.

Anyway, I am not a big fan of this dermatologist. She is a flake. I told her up front, I wanted to talk about 3 concerns I had and she tried to leave each time we finished up with one! It was like WAIT!! It took me 3 months to see you in the first place, do NOT leave yet! Well, as for my moles, I thought I had 5. Apparently all my big freckles though are moles. And I am covered in freckles of all sizes, so apparently I have a lot of moles...okay. There is only one that she would like to freeze, cut off and

stitch, and it is mainly because Sandy was like, I don't remember her having that mole, and I'd remember one that looks like a rectangle. So I might get it cut off, she has low worries, but is leaving it up to me. I talked to her about my bug bite problem, and told her all about all the over the counte

r stuff I tried, but it was only when I mentioned that the ones on my legs scare me because I am Diabetic and I can't stop scratching, that she offered a cream with steroids in it. Only problem so far is, I don't feel like it works so great. Right now, Calamine lotion is working the best, almost like having a cold pak on them all the time. I have to reapply a LOT, but some relief is a HUGE relief. Like I want to cry in thankfulness relief.

Then I brought up the bumps on my face that were making me feel very self conscious. One in particular, even though I have 3 others. In every picture I take of me or am given of me, it is SO obvious, to me anyway. So I use the wonderful clone brush tool and make it disappear. According to her, without really even looking at it, she says they are skin colord moles. And if I want it removed it will leave a scar. And then she was gone. But...what kind of scar? If we are talking a small discoloration, THAT can be covered with make-up, while the bump cannot!! It drives me a little crazy. When I do Vlogs, because I can't do anything about it on video, all I can see is that bloody bump. I would rather have discoloration, especially if it is real small, than something that can't be hidden at all. It would just make me feel a bit better. So I did not like her at all. She was too flighty for my taste and I don't feel any confidence in the thought of her slicing off a mole and stitching it up.

So that is how the appointment went. We had dinner at the Polish place, it had been awhile. Stuff we addressed as a family ended up upsetting me. I don't do well with changes, and definitely not ones where I feel scared at the thought of the change. So I had a really bad night, I had panic attacks, worries galore, and couldn't calm down. Everything feels so out of control and I just felt like I had, had it. So my Mom was up with me really late, talking things out, while I cried a lot. I guess I have a lot of fears, not just about things like going back for a Medical Transcription degree so I can work from home, but I have fears about myself. I want to be a good person, and I just worry I'm not. One of my biggest fears would be if I was a bad person. I want to be a good person. I want to be the person my Dad told me I am, earlier that evening. He told me he and Katie had a conversation when he took her to lunch that very day, and they talked about which of my parents children gives the most love and has the most love to give, and they both picked me...but is that true? I want to believe they are right, but I...worry. I am a pro at it. I think people should PAY me, and I will worry FOR them. I do it all the time, every day, so give me yours too, and I will worry for you. 1-WOR-RYW-ENDY!!

Snap Shot

Sorry guys, no reap post tonight. It was a really bad night for me, and I promised I would only right a short sentence. I just couldn't write nothing, it made me feel like I was failing somehow, probably because of the bad night. I will write and comment on all of today/yesterday's posts tommorrow.

Tim, if you are reading this, I am sorry for missing Vlog Emotions. It makes me upset knowing I didn't do it. Here is a video though (sorry for the slight cheat Mom! It took like 30 seconds though!) that has some lines that fit me today. "please save me from myself, I need you to save me from myself so I can heal", etc.

Home remedies...Oy

As I am just afflicted with the agony of my bites, all I have done in study up on itch relief remedies. There are some really crazy ideas out there. Using bleach, burning yourself with a lighter, etc. But also some I have tried since my last post. I tried Orajel, nothing. I tried deodorant, nada. I tried Preparation H, nicht. I can't decide if the Chloraseptic spray helped at all, so I am keeping it near to try again. Right this minute, Calamine lotion is working but I won't hold my breath. Things will work at first on me, and then my body adjusts and it doesn't help. My only friend is the ice packs and I can't bring them with me!! :( Some of the other weird ones are using the inside of a banana peel, scotch tape, nail polish, a meat tenderizer (I have no idea how THAT works!!), a Tums paste, Vicks Vapo-rub, table salt mixed with spit and many more. Ahhh home remedies.

Tommorrow I have my first ever dermatologist appointment. I have moles to be checked out and these things on my face that make me very self-conscious. Plus I am hoping (which will make it not happen I just know it) she can prescribe something to help the itches, or even give me a shot, and shots terrify me! So as that is ALL I have, I will leave you with a Stewart video to make you laugh.

The Love of My Current Leg...err Life...yeah...

Dear Mosquitoes,

I want to just thank you for all your love, it just means a great deal to me, knowing that I am the one for you. Of course I don't mind your little reminders of your love for me! Why should I? It's not like I took a letter opener, and later a pair of childrens' scissors, and used the edges to scratch at the horrid painful itchiness I am experiencing on my left heel. It is not like I did that for 15 minutes, repeatedly, throughout the night. And I never begged for the bite on my heel to turn into that bump with the hole in the middle, just so that bite medicine would help with the itchiness. And I promise you, I am not now wishing for a wound instead of this bite right at this exact moment. Nope that is not Wendy at all. I just love all your love marks. Yup. I love when the Afterbite does nothing to help, and especially when the bite is so bad, I'd risk a scar just to make it stop! That's right, I am a glutton for you!

I love getting to consider what damage I will do to my Diabetic feet by scratching so hard. It is my most favorite hobby, to see how many anti-itch medicines WON'T work on your love bites. I bought 5 new things to try today alone, I am serious, and not one of them worked on the bite on my heel. Sure, they help the other 4 bites for about 20 minutes at a time, but nothing can stop the agony of that left heel bite. Nope, I am one lucky girl. Your love for me shines through everything. I love the quality time I spent for the last 30 minutes clawing at my heel with my stubby fingers, and still nothing can change that fun little bite. It is as suspiciously small and hard as ever. Not changing a bit so that the itchiness can be alleviated. Love THAT! And the fact that I am actually considering begging my Mother to use the tip of a needle to puncture said bite? Priceless. I love this feeling of absolute agony, it is such a special feeling. The fact that only an ice pack can temporarily stop the itch, but the pain of the cold is so uncomfortable, I can only do that when I am about to scream from the utter frustration, is just icing on this love cupcake.

Thank you my little lovelies. As I dig a hole and have my leg amputated because this is the worst bite I have had ever (and you know I have had some doozies because I am a magnet for your love) had, I will sing sweet lullabies of your magnificent deeds. Where is the needle? Seriously where is it, because I can't handle your love anymore!!

Love, Wendy

P.S. I am going to be visiting THOSE people on my Blog's 1 year anniversary, how sucky!! That means I need to prepare a post now, because if I didn't post on the actual day, it would be even more upsetting! I just had to edit this post and add this! Grrrr!

Ouchies and Pendants

Today was not very holiday here in the M household. We cleaned the basement, yahoo...yes it wasn't sincere. Nor was it any fun at all. We had saved up a LOT of stuff, thinking we might do a tag sale, but now we are just junking it and Good Will-ing it. There is like 100 or so VHS tapes, from all the movies I now own on DVD. Some are even in their shrink wrap still, so hopefully SOME people still use their VCR's and watch these GOOD movies. I paid like $20 a pop for these movies, and now I would have made, what, 50 cents at a tag sale? *big sigh* And so many bags of garbage to take out to the garage for a dump day. And then hauling all the Good Will stuff to the garage too, it was tiring.

Yesterdays' misadventure has come back to haunt me, or bite me, to be more accurate. I now feel All my bug bites. Bugs love me, Sandy said she read they are attracted more to some people depending on the sugars in you, and as I am a Diabetic, of course my sugars are higher than other peoples! They must have known I was a Diabetic years before I did, because they have always loved me. But in the last 5 years or so, bug bites on my legs and feet are a real problem. **You see, Diabetics have to be really careful with their legs and feet. When you have diabetes, proper foot care is very important. Not taking care of your feet with diabetes can lead to serious health problems, including possibly having to remove the foot or leg (amputation). We have reduced blood flow and nerves in our feet. You are actually supposed to check your feet every single day for cracks and scratches, etc because all can lead to infections or amputations. I don't, bad me. I also go barefoot always which is a no-no. There are special socks, etc., but I like the socks I wear, so until I need them, I will wear what I like. You aren't even supposed to cross your legs. If you have a callus or anything else, you are supposed to go to the doctor's...but supposedly he is supposed to check my feet each time I see him and he doesn't, so I don't either. Heck the man hasn't ordered an A1C test for me in like 2 years, I am the one who WANTS one!!**

Anyway, as I said bites and scratches have become a major problem for in the last 5 years. If I get a nick from shaving, I have a scar. If I scratch bug bites, which is a weakness of mine, I will of course scar now, but they usually get infected first, incredibly so. So having 2 bites on my right leg and 1 on each foot is a BAD thing. And they are SO itchy! And my Saving Grace is not working! It is called After-Bite, and will work on some bites, but if they are really bad or big, or in an awkward spot, not even it can help me. Right now I have an ice pack on the one on my left foot, because it is SO itchy and is on the hard part of your heel to the side. So I WANT the bump to raise so maybe After Bite will work, but nothing will make it rise! I was scratching it with a letter opener for crying out loud!!

Anyway, on to what caused my other pain. After I picked up that stuff to make some pendants with, I worked on all 4 until I was done and the pliers/cutters I used killed my hands. They were throbbing after. And then I noticed some bruising today in my palm, and as the past 2 days have gone by, I have this horrid pain in a finger on my right hand. It has a weird mark, like a blister but my Mom says its' not a blister, you feel nothing. Plus it is red and the pain goes down past the marking so she said I may have sprained it. Great. It is killing me tonight! And having to shower, the heat made it hurt and soap stung so bad! So I have decided, making jewelery will NOT be a new hobby. When Sandy heard, she was like Oh I have tiny ones for doing that. AFTER!! And she knew I had to make the links to hold the pendants, because after seeing my red pendant, she went out and bought the same one!! Copy-cat Sandy!! Yes you! Anyway, here are my necklaces:

The keys and locks were meant to be charms on bracelets but I wanted them as necklaces, so I bought some bigger link things (I know I speak in pro) and changed them into necklace charms. The 3 keys one is a fave, because I can wear them together, or for a cleaner look, pick one key and take the other off. This is the bane of my necklace making existence, linking things together like this:

It is so hard and I almost got my fingers multiple times so I am now afraid of pliers!! Linking links together sucks. Linking links to chains, sucks. I like the pendants, HATE the making!! BTW, the crown necklace says "A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in". There were SO many cute pendants...but I will make Sam make them for me maybe, because I am in agony. So my hands hurt, I have itchiness all over my legs and feet...I am a wreck! LOL! And I think I am getting a migraine to top it ALL off. Anyone wanna trade bodies for a little while? Dontcha want to experience what a migraine FEELS like? Come on!!

**Knowledge Section - You can say I Learned something real at Wendy's Blog today!!