Saturday, June 19, 2010

Friday Fragments

* I have no idea what I am going to do about my meds at this point. I am taking my Mom's advisement, who has never turned me wrong, and trying her way first. Which is the lowered Topamax dose and keeping the lithium dose as it it for now. So right now I am on 100 mg of Topamax (supposed to be on 200), 600mg of Lithium (supposed to be going up to 1200 a day). And then there are my normal meds, which I know don't make me sick, (I also have no idea of the mg) my Toprol for my heart, my Ambien so I sleep, 2 Celexa a day and 3 Xanax per day. I used to have this cute med case, fit in my hand basically. I was so proud of it, because after the gastric bypass, I was on so few med pills. Now my Mom had to bring me home one of those huge suckers again. That has the day, and 4 compartments for that day. Morning, Noon, Eve, Bedtime. Ugh. I am back to needing to take my meds with milk. Oh you should see me I am frickin amazing...yes that sounds so vain. But with milk, I can take like 15 pills, some BIG, all at once. I know, it's a sad talent.

*I so want to be better for my friend Hannah's Eclipse party! I have wanted to go since I got back from her New Moon party and I hated the movie! But I had so much fun with Hannah and people there! And this time we were going to make sure we ate the amazing food that was there and I was going to get there early to help out and eat as I helped, diabetes be darned! But I am so worried this stomach trouble is going to keep me away and that has made me cry so many times already! I wanna be there so bad, I paid for my ticket already just in case!! Even though there is a person or two going that I am worried will ruin it for me, I want to have fun with my friend who I haven't SEEN in person since Christmas time! So I am freaking out, because I want to go so badly. I was in a car accident the night before the last party but I made it, but that was strangely different. The pain had not fully set in and I was on Percocets. This stomach thing has me more scared than that did. But I dream of being there. Of sitting with Hannah and laughing as I fail her Mom's Twilight quizzes, her mom Naomi does HARD quizzes. Yes I know many Naomi's. It deserves it's own fragment.

* I know Hannah's mom, who is a Naomi. She and Sister H/Jahoodie are sisters. Then there is Jahoodie's daughter Naomi, who is one of my oldest and dearest friends. Pretty sure that would by why she was named Naomi Beth, Beth being one of Jahoodie's other sisters. Then their is the Naomi who is one of my sister Katie's BFF's. She is one of the few friends of Katie's that I like. And now one of my good blog buddies Whitney, had a baby daughter and named her...Naomi! LOL! I have Naomi's all over! I swear there is one more Naomi I just can't remember right this second...and she will probably kill me, crap! Anyway, you might think it would be hard to keep them all straight, but it's not actually. Baby Naomi is easy naturally, you add baby first. Or 'lil, like when I relay a story to someone in my family about something Whitney has posted about her daughter that is especially cute, I may say 'lil Naomi, because they all know these Naomi's too. Then there is Hannah's Mom. She is either Ant Nay or Nay. I call my Naomi, Nao, Nome, and Huey (family nickname, we are family). Often we call Kat's Naomi by first and last name or say Katie's Naomi. It only sucks when Katie calls her friend by the names we gave my friend, now THAT gets confusing!

*Has anyone else been watching the VH1 show The OCD Project? I am finding it fascinating. Sure, okay, maybe part of it has to do with the fact that I have OCD, but nothing compared to the extent these patients have. But I find it interesting that I can pick out things from most of the patients that I do think or fear or do. And seeing them overcome some of their fears is just amazing, especially since there are some things I could NOT do! Could I go to Skid Row and hand out meal tickets and shake peoples hands? Yes. Would I find myself thinking I would like to wash my hands? Yeah probably, I am afraid of germs, but I could do that task. Could I rub my food on a toilet and IN a toilet and then eat it? NO FREAKING WAY. Kick me out of the program, that would not happen. I am proud that Arine could do it, but seeing her do it, made my anxiety rise, LOL! That would be too far for me. I also was fascinated when the Doc realized one of hs patients might have Asperger's so he might not really fit in this program because he doesn't process things the same. I wouldn't think so. I wouldn't think someone like me, who has a bunch of different disorders including bipolar would fit into this specific program. The doc takes no bullcrap, tantrums, etc. And the guy he thinks has this mild form of Autism just makes everything into a math problem and for every thing the doctor says he has an answer that sounds logical to him to counteract that. It is just really interesting to see, and I wonder if this doctor can really cure these MAJOR OCD patients with only 2 weeks of care.

*I am all set on presents for Father's Day, Dad's Birthday and Sam's birthday, YAY! Are you all set for Father's Day?

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3 meaningful meanderings:

Toriz said...

We have several people we know with the same name, or similar names too. Like at least three Daves, three Phils, a couple of Emmas, three Waynes, a couple of Louises, four Carl/Karls... You get the idea. We have codes for them all. Like "our Carl" and Phil R" and "baby Emma" and so on. As long as you know which one the code applies to, then keeping track of them is easy. It can get confusing when you forget to use the code though, or when someone misses the added word that identifys the difference.

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better soon, and that you do get to go to the party.

Toriz said...

Oh yeah, and... I am ready for Father's Day. Have been for about a week.

Izzy said...

Well I wish you the best of luck and hope God is on your side for your struggle.
I really hope you get better because eclipse is supposed to be so much better than New Moon XD
I'm sorry about your problem I know the feeling I have had this chronic migrane for the last two weeks and I have been eating my Immatrex like its candy which makes me feel like crap.
but I rather not have the migranes or the pain tho the pills make me feel all strange at times.

I wish you well and the best of luck youll be in my heart and I know youll make it to your eclipse night ^_^
just take a deep breath and I know its hard to stay calm during the panic but think positive and about the happy stuff you mentioned in your blog about your last visit with your friend hopefull that calms som nerves and makes you relax a bit so you can focus on a fun time.


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