Thursday, August 26, 2010

The End of Miss Condescending

So...She didn't want to be emailed by ME again, like ever. Remember? So I made a comment as I told you all on her blog. Remember this "I said don't throw stones at glass houses. That she was the one who emailed ME. How would I know she was joking? She has no idea what my monetary situation is here and I thought she would be less judgemental. That I tried to show her I was worried about her and as an older person I do have more experience with bills. Why is that an insult?"

Just sheer facts. Don't throw stones. How would I know she was joking? She doesn't know my situation so she can't comment. I thought she was less judgemental. I was just worried for her. As an older person I have dealt with money issues longer. It is just facts, not insults. NONE.

She decided however not only could she have friends of hers comment insults to me on yesterdays post, but that SHE was allowed to email me. I can't email HER, but she is allowed to email ME. And what an email it was. As soon as I saw her name I knew I couldn't deal with it on my own, that I needed support. So I had my Mom stay and sit on the couch and read it out loud. I had no idea what to expect, but I was past the point where I was expecting anything good from her anymore. My expectations proved right.

She told me she couldn't believe I left that as a comment. That is was the SAME as an email. Which I found really interesting. She said no emails so I didn't email, nothing could make her happy. I think she actually wanted me to take her last email, insults and all and say nothing back. Just TAKE it. Well you know what, I have been TAKING it for my entire freaking life. That is one of the things I am encouraged by my family to do, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF Wendy. Do it. So I DID. I left a reasonable comment. I could have been snide and mean and called her out and named her, etc, but I am not like her, I can't be like that. So I just simply didn't take it, I talked back.

And what do I get? I am told by HER, I am condescending. That she does not need to be condescended to be ME. That while I am right and she doesn't know how I have money, I don't know how much money she has dealt with for the past 8 years (8 years. Wow. When I WAS her age.). How she deals with money from an inheritance and for lots of reasons. How her parents are accountants. How SHE knows about money. How she's been talked to about money and how to pay for bills all 24 years of her life (yeah I am so sure her parents took a 5 year old and did bills). How she doesn't like people telling her how to spend her money because she's already gotten it 400 times. (Sounds like other people have problem with her spending habits, not me) And nooooo, none of that was condescending at ALL. Mmmmm.

Oh but wait we are NOT done by a long shot. No you have to stay for the part where I started crying!. See I know, I know, I am overly sensitive lately because I am doing not so hot, but these statements are a little over the line I feel.

She tells ME not to contact HER again in ANY way. Not to read her blog. Then she told me to seek Professional Help. She crossed a line, and a big one at that. You want to turn a comment about putting the TV and internet you are whining about on a credit card into a huge fight, that is your odd choice. But to in any way, bring up my disorders and use them against me to inflict pain, etc, that is NOT okay. And NO, me being open about my disorders does not make them an open source for people to use to put me down. I shared because I am honest and because maybe it teaches people more about these disorders. No one has a right to use them to put me down to make themselves feel superior. Then she tells me if I leave a comment she will block my IP address, and she will be making all emails from me SPAM.

And then she tells me that next time someone sends me a lighthearted comment, which ACCORDING TO HER YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE IT ENDED WITH AN EXCLAMATION POINT!!!! Seriously, has anyone else ever heard of that?!! Of course you haven't because it isn't true! My Mother is a published author and she had never heard of such a thing! Anyway she tells me next time don't get offended and send the most condescending email I have ever read. SAY WHAT?! Because we are talking about the one that said I WAS responsible with money and try not to jump down people's throats because she said I was bringing America down, and that I am the one in her 30's, while she is in her early 20's so I have more experience with such monetary matters.I defended myself and it is true. I am older, she is younger. Deal with it lady!

That she said she's already spent enough time worrying if she's offending me too badly. But she won't be worrying anymore.It takes too much of her day and the emails have bothered her. That she doesn't need to be worrying if she's hurting my feelings. She has to worry about doing that with people in real life.

That last paragraph was kind of amusing actually after the crying paragraph. Because when had she worried about offending me? When had she stopped to think if she was hurting my feelings? Because I hadn't seen it once. She talks about condescending people being her pet peeve, but the only person who has been condescending is HER. So ironic. I wrote from my heart and I meant it each time. I was just being honest and factual. I am older. At 18 my grandfather died and for the first time I had a bunch of money and well things went not so great. We also sued MetLife at that time because we didn't GET the money he had set aside for my parents, so you learn a lot when you are suing Snoopy. I blew through have my inheritance and had to learn the very HARD way how to try and fix things. I took an accounting class. My Dad knows a lot about money and goes over it with us all the time, since I was about 11. I had a savings account. I have a checking account, multiple credit cards and the rest of that money in funds. If I use a real credit card I write a check out when I get home. Period. I don't care if her parents are accountants, she isn't. Even if she was, if she was still 24, I would say the same thing. I am 8 years older, I have dealt with it longer than you. It isn't an insult, just a fact.

I don't think she wanted things to get better between us. I think she needed someone to hate, so she had something to distract her and I was the unlucky one. Because I felt each of my emails back to her was showing and telling her, I care about you. I just wanted you to be happy. Don't you see that? And all that she took from it was insults which I don't understand how she found.

My Mother was not happy with the email. She said the girl was obviously unbalanced. I appreciated that, but the see professional help was haunting me. You can't say that to someone who has problems without it doing its' damage. Sandy showed up at one point and I asked if she had read yesterdays post yet and she said no. I told her the person I wrote about said I should seek help and she said some people just have opinions on your health, and I told her, no this wasn't an email looking out for me. I know the difference, I have gotten those. So I said I would send her the last email to so she could read it after the post. She reads all my posts.

After they all left, I was really upset. I was so upset I wanted to leave a rude remark on her blog under a different name so I was so not myself, I was creating a fake email when Sandy showed up and she was pissed off. I was caught in the act, she made me stop. She got it but she told me I wasn't (I know BABY sister) to ever go that girl's blog, comment on her, etc. And that she wanted me to block her if possible from my email and my blog. That she had written her an email telling her to stay away from me and my blog (awwww!), that she can't treat her sister like this. We tried to figure out how to block her for like 25 minutes but can't figure it out. Sandy then wanted to know how to delete comments. I knew I had 2 comments on yesterdays post, one supportive from Kristina and a rude one from Anonymous, either written BY her or one of her friends. I thought Sam wanted to delete that one. Only there were more comments I didn't know about. And Sandy didn't let me read them either. One LONG one by another anonymous, apparently I will lose a reader after all according to Sam, and one by her, herself. Sam wouldn't let me read it either. Sam left a comment for them, I doubt they bothered to read it, but it made me really proud to have her for a sister.

To have her defend me, it made me, well...yeah, it made me want to cry. You think your siblings can't stand you and then they defend you and say sweet thing about you that you didn't know they thought of you. I SO wish I knew what she emailed her. I don't think Sam will ever tell me though. My sister is a good sister, I have her at least, even though I don't have who was supposed to be my friend.

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1 meaningful meanderings:

Toriz said...

That comment by that person in the last e-mail was totally uncalled for. Telling someone they should seek professional help when they don't have issues they're trying to deal with is bad enough, but when you know they do it makes it even worse!

Also, I've been writing stories and poems since I knew how to, and I've never in my life heard of that rubbish about exclamation marks showing you're joking. They are to emphasize points, indicate emotion in your comment, etc. But they do not indicate that you are definately joking. An exclamation point can mean that you are joking, I suppose. But it can also mean you are annoyed, upset, etc.

Seriously, if she insists on behaving in this way, you're better off without her. I'm sure it hurts, but just remember that people like that aren't worth bothering with, and all further communication with her will do - from what I can tell from communication thus far - is to hurt you more. And I don't like to see those people I consider to be friends hurt!

That exclamation point is to emphasize emotion, not the fact I'm joking. LOL!

(Sorry, I couldn't resist that last bit) ;)

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