The Accident

So, I got enough energy after a 3 hour nap and a percocet, to write something for my blog. Yay. Hope it lasts long enough to finish the whole post. Puh-lease!

So, it was November 18th. I was really excited. It was my 4 year anniversary since the day I had my weight loss surgery. So we were going to eat at The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Plus the next day, I had the New Moon party at my friend Hannah's house, which I was excited/scared about. (we talk a lot through emails but the getting together thing was like, brand new for us). So I was getting pysched about everything. Only my Mom and Dad went with me to dinner. Katie was teaching and Sandy just didn't want to go out. So my parents and I drove to West Hartford where we actually have a CF.

So we went and Mom and I shared the Chicken Costelletta. I wish there was one closer because the I would TRY other chicken dishes which all sound yummy, but I KNOW I like this one dish so I always get it, all 3 times I have been there, lol. My Dad had their pot roast and we all got so full. So we ordered 3 pieces of the Fresh Strawberry cheesecake to go. As we left the restaurant, I took a picture of my parents and a pic of myself, because I was going to post a celebratory post on it. So this was us about 5 minutes before things went to Hades.What a difference 5 minutes can make...

We walked over to Whole Foods where we had parked, talking about how we were going to go home and eat cheesecake, and my Mom gave me a present, well a pick out a dvd series you want present, which made me smile.

We were headed home, Gabby our GPS was giving us directions. Mom let me sit in the fromt passenger as it was MY special day. We had a green light and so we were driving straight. We saw a really large black pick-up all of a sudden. It was turning left straight into our lane. I remember seeing the lights get closer and closer, unbelievably closer. The lights didn't slow down, and they didn't try to swerve. I remember screaming. According to my parents, I screamed "Oh NO!", all I remember is, I screamed. Then the next thing I remember is pain. I don't remember seeing the crash happen. All of a sudden I was in pain and looking at an airbag. The light inside the car was so strange, (Mom later said it was the trucks lights shining directly into our car, because it was that big of a truck) and it was smokey. I started to panic, I thought the car was on fire and that it could explode. I remember hearing my Dad yell, "Oh my God. Are you both okay?", but I don't remember answering. I remember hearing him scream out to the other car "What did you DO?!!". My mouth felt huge and hurt really bad and I was starting to freak out. Mom said to get out of the car and I felt confused, but I did it, and then I didn't see her, so I panicked. I helped her out of the car and that was when I lost it.

I started crying and hyperventilating. People were asking if I was okay, but my Mom had to speak for me, saying I was really shook up. I told her my mouth hurt but I couldn't tell if I was okay or not. We went to a corner to get out of the way, my head still buried in my mother's neck, crying. I am sorry if I seem like a baby. I have never been in a head on collision. I ws in accidents as a kid, my Dad was always being side-seiped, but I don't remember those accidents. And this was different. I SAW it happening, I knew it was not going to be okay. Anyway, I couldn't breathe it felt like, and things seemed so wrong somehow, and my mouth was burning and throbbing. Firemen were all of a sudden there asking questions and I had to answer this time. I told them what hurt but that I wasn't sure if that was it. I just couldn't tell, I was so scared. My Dad was calling the girls because his wallet must have fallen out when he got out of HIS car and went into the one, our new Honda Accord, we drove to CF in. I never even saw what the accident looked like. The fireman was asking me questions, birthdates and numbers and medical conditions. My Mom said yes, she wanted me to go in an ambulance. My mom seemed fine and my dad said he hot his head, but they were saying they were fine, but I wasn't sure. My body felt like it was at a distance from me.

So ambulance people were all of a sudden there, wrapping my neck in a brace. Then they were there with a backboard and made me lean back until they were carrying me, which was so scary. I couldn't see my parents anymore, so that was really scary. They asked me all these questions as they were strapping me down with endless straps. I tried to answer, but I was so scared and so cold and confused. They placed me on a gurney and strapped even more things over me. They all left me for a few minutes, and I was strapped down, cold and in pain, wondering where my Mom was. If the girls were there yet. They asked where they were supposed to be taking me and they said my parents had picked Hartford Hospital. We weren't in an area where we knew any of the hospitals, so they picked the closest one. Joe was my ambulance guy. He was in the back with me. By then more things were hurting that I could feel, so when Joe asked me to tell him everything that hurt, I was able to say: my chest, and it hurts to breathe. My knees. My mouth and nose. He looked at my knees and said he didn't see anything. He felt along my chest which made me really burst into ow's. I couldn't stop crying. I could finally hear my Mom up front but couldn't see her. We started moving which was scary and Joe kept asking more questions, feeling areas. I called out to make sure it WAS Mom's voice and it was. Joe was really nice, he kept trying to get me to breathe slower, telling me it wasn't going to help me any, but could he really blame me? I hurt and I was scared out of my mind.

We were in the ambulance for about 15 to 20 minutes and then they were carrying me out and we were in a bright place. A guy took off the brace and had me move my head around, which was uncomfoartable but apparently good to them. Because he was taking off all of it, the brace and all the straps. Which made the lady who drove the ambulance mad, because until I was admitted, it was law I stay strapped in apparently. They put many bracelets on my hand, and my Mom was finally there holding my hand. I was so cold. They unstrapped me and made me sit up, and that was when I realized my back was killing me too. They made me stand up and I felt so dizzy. I finally noticed my Dad sitting at a desk as he answered questions. He had been brought over by an ambulance too. And was admitted to the ER too. They told us to go sit in the waiting room, that we were going to be admitted to the "gold pod" and that it would get us in and out faster. I found it so weird as Mom and Joe walked me to the waiting area, that we were being placed IN a waiting area. We were in a head on collision, we didn't drive ourselves because we were hurt. So it just seemed weird. Joe sat with us and had us answer more questions. He continued to tell me to hold my breath and then breathe out slowly. I was breathing so fast still. We had to sign things. Dad joined us and had to sign lots too. My Mom was sitting funny and we were finally talking about the accident to each other. My Mom had been in the back, no seat belt. Luckily tonight she had been sitting directly behind me and not in the middle. She had used her arms to brace herself, but had jerked around too. She was finally feeling really achy and in pain, but she wouldn't let herself be admitted. She said it was to be expected, your muscles bunch up when you see you are going to be hit and then the accident even braced, plus she says when you are hit muscles move and clench so she said NO.

Joe left finally, which was a little scary for me, he was the one medical person who seemed nice and was paying attention to us. When I told him the cheescakes were in the car he commiserated what a horrid shame that was. So he said goodbye and left. We sat there, huddled close. I couldn't stop crying. I was seeing it over and over in my head. And my Mom, is not as iron strong as I thought, she was working at being calm, really really working. I couldn't stop saying stuff like "why didn't he stop? He never even tried to move!" and stuff like that. I had felt my Dad try to swerve and felt out car's breaks try but there was no avoiding the accident, because the driver never slowed or tried to get out of the way. It was like he thought if he kept going, WE could make the accident not happen. My sisters arrived which made me bawl even more. I have no idea why. I hurt so much and there were my girls and I was scared, it was just all too much. My Dad was glad they were there for multiple reasons. He was worried that Gabby, the GPS would be stolen. Yes, seriously. He was waiting to be examined himself and he was worried about Gabby. That had me blubbering about the cheesecake and how it must look now. The MAIN reason I wanted to eat at CF. They were actually able to make me laugh for a second because I was crying about cheesecake too. So they left to go to the police station and get the report and see if the car place was still open so they could rescue Gabby at least.

We were waiting for almost 2 hours and then they finally had a room for Dad, and one for me, far from one another. Mom went with me. They gave me a gown and no one returned. Mom stayed with me. She told me my face looked really weird, not just my mouth anymore. When I finally needed to use a restroom I was aghast at the red patches all over my neck and lower face. Joe had wondered at one point how hard the airbag hit me and also commented that the smoke I saw was cornstarch which the airbags had in them. He said I might be allergic to it. Now I knew why. I shuffled carefully back to the room and waited with my Mom. She was really hurting now, leaning her face into my leg as we waited, with Glee on the TV, but I couldn't pay attention to that. Everything now hurt. I checked my knees out and figured Joe was right, they looked fine. But they hurt. And my back and neck and head were killing me. My chest was throbbing. And we just continued waiting. We watched the whoever they were, behind the desks, just chatting and looking up things on google!! We wondered WHO actually worked there besides the cute black guy who did admitting. My Mom went and checked on Dad, he too was still waiting. We waited more, an hour had gone by.

I got a text and my Mom got my phone out for me and it was from my Dad asking if I had seen a doctor yet. I was like, nope, what about you? He texted back, not one in sight, and then typed how now brown cow? Which made me laugh which hurt!! I talked with my Mom, now that tears were sporadic. I was so pissed that this happened. I was like, I am NOT missing Hannah's party tommorrow, NO, no way. My Mom was trying to calm me down, tell me I had to see! I hadn't even been checked out yet, but I was adamant. It didn't matter I was in agony, I did not want to miss this oppurtunity. I was supposed to go outside my comfort zone and really wanted to get a chance to be comfortable with Hannah, so we could be good friends. So I was now in pain AND pissed. So I texted Hannah, just as the doctor finally arrived, and told her I had been in a head on collision but was going to try my best not to let this guy ruin this for me. She was worried for me, but I had to stop now.

He felt along my chest and pressed so hard I wanted to bawl again. He had me get up and felt along my spine and hit some areas that made me cry out. He checked out my face. He told me I was going to be in a lot of pain, especially in the next 3 days. He told me I was going to have to ice my sore areas a lot. He prescribed me percocet and skelaxin, a muscle relaxer. He told me a surce would bring me some percocet and that I was free to go. Except no nurse showed up so I had to wait. Mom went to Dad, as he was next up and he got the same RX's as me. Finally a nurse brought me a pill and we could go, even as we tried to talk my Mom into getting checked out. NO. So we got into the car, which scared me and I shuddered the whole way home. Sure it was cold, but being in a car, scared the crap out of me. We got home and my parents made me take a bath after I took the skelaxin too. As I lay there I felt vindicated as brusies started forming on my knees. I KNEW it!

Of course they didn't immediately look like this, this is how they started looking about 3 days after the accident. How they still look. Yeah, if they LOOK painful, yes they are that much MORE painful in actuality. And as the days passed more bruised popped up, like my pictures from the other day:

This is the left inner side of my left boob/chest. It feels this painful on both sides, but this was the side that bruised. I think having large chest's is the only reason my rib cage doesn't LOOK like this. They got in the way, essentially. I think if they didn't my chest/rib area would hurt even more than it does now. I thought at one point that I was getting better, which yes actually worried me, because I am so not over this. It plays over and over in my head, making my cry. I haven't driven myself anywhere since, being IN a car makes me anxious. I should have not said I was worried because tonight, Thanksgiving night, I feel as badly as I did the first few days. Driving up to my Aunt's for Turkey Day, might have been a mistake.

My Dad didn't hurt at first, he was all I am good the next day, and went to the police and Gabby was safe indeed. He also took pics of our car so I could see. The other car has a flat tire...yeah, and might need transmission work...aww poor baby, our new 2 year old car is dead!! But within another day or so, Dad began to feel the pain and still hurts a lot. My Mom didn't go to work the next day, or the next, she was in agony too. Finally on Sunday the 22nd, Sam took her to the ER where she got to spend 6 hours, and she got pain meds and was told she'd bruised her ribs really good and wasn't to return to work until the 27th, Friday. She says we are crash buddies. I love my Mom. So yeah the pain has been back in full force the last 2 days actually. Trying to take a bath last night was actually painful, nothing was comfortable. Tonight it is really bad. Oh and let me tell you something I found out. Hiccups following a car accident are agony. They have made it so bad a few times, I cried. So I have been doing a LOT of sleeping. Even when it has been 14 hours since I took a pain pill, I fall asleep so easily no matter how hard I try not to. My Mom tells me not to fight it. My bosy needs it or something to recover from the trauma. So yeah, I have not been up to much, but emailing my friend Hannah and a quick hello post, and that kind of thing. Even if I get more than this typed up tonight, I have no idea how I will feel tommorrow, so I will see how it goes.

And you may ask, did you go to the New Moon party and if you did, HOW did you do it? Yes I did go, I am that stubborn. And percocet and 4 bottles of 5-hour Energy people. And I do not regret going either. That is another post though.

Like I said toward the beginning. What a difference 5 minutes can make. Finally yesterday the blame was put on this 17 year old driver. He claims he didn't see us. But I find that hard to believe and he had a yellow light he decided to try and beat. I want to sue him and his family. I don't care if it was him driving. What was a 17 year old doing in that huge truck if he isn't even a good driver?! We have to replace a car and they do not give you all the money to replace a car, so I want us to sue. We are all still in pain, my Mom missed a week of work, and she is going to try to go in tommorrow, but she is in such pain still. I want him to pay. There are consequences for what he did and I want him to learn them.