Chiropractic Solutions

So I went and saw my chiropractor, and man I had so much paperwork to fill out. I also could tell it had been WAY too long since I had been there because when he walked into the room and had all gray hair, I was like WHAT THE...?!! I swear he had all brunette-ness last time I saw him and I don't think it was that long ago!

He asked a lot of questions, but wanted to exam me, which essentially meant, he hurt me. I know, I know. He had to press areas and find out how much pain it caused me to tell how bad it was, and had to press certain areas REALLY flippin' hard to tell where he needed to work on me, but holy crap! It hurt so bad. I told him my headache was a 6 out of 10, and my neck pain was a 9 out of 10, so I could only tell him to lighten his touch if it was above a pain level of 6! And it was, a lot of the time, but he was quite pleased. I know he's no sadist, and really loves his work, so it was all about how he is positive he can help me. He wants me back on Thursday, and told me I can walk and I can lay down, but I am not supposed to sit. Yeah, that is hard to do. He told me since my head felt too heavy for my neck and all the places I felt pain the most, that sitting only puts more pressure on the pain, and I need to avoid aggravating it. SO I write to you now, as I did last night too (sorry thought last nights post was enough for one night), laying on the couch with my laptop in duh, my lap, but it is hard to type like this and difficult on my muscles, so this bites. But as it was the only way I could convince the 'rents I could still go online, I will suffer through it. Hey, at least I don't have to participate in yard work this weekend. I may be able to walk but he said no hunching over, so I am pretty sure picking up bloody sticks from the yard counts as pressure on my neck, so one good thing came from all of this...I HATE picking up sticks!

So I will be at the chiro or well...here...laying on my back for 2 weeks. That is when he thinks it will be better. And as for the migraines, he thinks they could all go away forever maybe, but if not, he has a migraine clinic going on...yay for me. I do love Dr.S, he is so nice and jovial, you couldn't hate him if you wanted to, and I love to hate doctors, so yeah, he is THAT nice. I am really sick of doctor appointments though. In the last week and a half, I have been to my regular doctor, my nuerologist, the hospital for a catscan, my psychiatrists', and now my chiropractor. And I have to see him Thursday.

He ended up cracking some stuff and my head felt decent, and then he did the therapy where electrodes are placed on my neck and a hot towel over those and he turns it as far up until it hurts and turns it back down to before it hurt, and I sit there for 15 minutes. But the nurse didn't offer me a pillow so my face had to go in the hole and that hurt my jaw and forehead and I ended up leaving with my headache back in full force and feeling really tired. My Mom wants him to do the electrodes first next time and then adjust me, because I had been feeling decent until the face squish.LOL! I have such a diverse vocabulary!!

Ice Cream Coma

Well I am SO serious, Max is laying here beside me, in a ice cream induced coma. He had WAY too much, snarked the rest of Kat's cone, ate the end of mine....and Dad's and ate a lot of soft serve and hard vanilla. He is so smart, he figured out that hard ice cream needs to be bitten into to get the biggest amount and he did it. Unlike the rest of my family, I will give Max pieces of my food I break off, or am finished with, but I cannot let him lick my ice cream and then go back to enjoying it myself. Gross! I am the germaphobe though. LOL.

So my results from my cat scan are clear...which made everyone else happy, but to me it is just troubling. If something had shown up we would know what to do to make things better, but things are still unclear for me. The nuero said the trauma could have caused these migraine like pains, but what am I supposed to do with that? How is that going to help this pain go away? I just find it really frustrating not to have a definitive answer and a way for this excruciating pain to stop. It ruins my sleep, even with vicodin and ambien together it still rips me from a sound sleep, so this sucks...I have a follow up appointment this coming Monday but I am not feeling hopeful. This Frova med he gave me to take, my Mom and I have decided I am NOT taking it. Since my Mom is a nurse she has the drug books, that go into depth who shouldn't take it and the side effects, etc, and 3 things it says not to be if you take this pill, I AM. I AM a Diabetic, I AM taking Celexa, and I DO have heart issues!! So Frova has been nixed which means I am on nothing (maybe some Vicodin if I really stretch it) until Monday and even then he may say, oh it will have to lessen on it's own...dude!!! It has been 17 days!!! Come ON!!

Anyway, we had a good time hanging out with Max and he soaked it up like a sponge. When we got back from ice cream we showed him his presents...he was still interested in FOOD!! Wouldn't even touch the new squeaky toys we got him until he had been given a treat, then he decided he did like his new toys. Then we made dinner, and watched a dog-centered movie. Marley & Me. I bought it last week because it is such a good movie, yeah I cry at the end but it is so beautiful! All during the movie, Max was a spaz. He could not settle down, he wanted to play, to be scratched, to kiss people, to be fed (yeah and he was given chicken), he was a sugar hyped up beast, lol! Towards the last quarter of the movie, he went into one of his hiding places and conked out. At the end he came out though and he sat sandwiched between me and Sam. I needed my baby near me when Marley...*sniffle*....goes to heaven. My Mom was crying again, but no where near as badly as when she finished the book it is based on, she was a mess of tears...no I will NOT ever read the book, the movie made me sob when I saw it in the theaters and I got tears streaming when we saw it tonight, I do NOT need it to get any more real!

It has gotten cold tonight, back down to 32 so officially freezing, this weather is so weird! And all of a sudden my computer says my c drive is all filled up!! I just removed like 1000's of photos like 2 months ago to free up space and I have not taken that many pictures since so I have NO idea what it is I have to delete!! I am freaking out here with a dog that looks dead beside me. I am 100% serious, I just picked up his paw and it dropped to the sofa with a plunk and he is not even opening his eyes. He IS alive, he is snoring that is how I know...man...dog's lives are SWEET!!

Me and Migraines...why?

Okay, no I am still not doing good. I know it, I finally have an appointment with my psychiatrist so that I can tell him I want to try the mood stabilizer. I can tell I am in a dark place for me. Usually I have to get out of the house like every other day or I am crawling up the walls in cabin fever. But right now, I can be in the house for days at a time and am fine with it. Right now, I think it is my sanctuary. Sure, I have to wait until December 10th to see him, but if it gets any worse my Mom said we will call him and ask him over the phone to start me on the med. When commercials for depression make you cry...when a lil squabble breaks you down...you are definitely in the Pit and need some help getting out. So I am trying to do something to help myself, even if I have to try different meds out for months or longer until I find one that helps even just a fraction, I will take it.

Anyways, I have migraines and as anyone else who gets them will attest, they SUCK. Over the last few years they have gotten worse and worse, and whereas I used to only get them a few times a year, I get a few a month now. And the level of pain and discomfort has gotten worse too. The lights hurt, I feel like throwing up, I want to cry, but that puts more tension on everything, which just makes the pain worse. Although some times I just can't help it. My primary care doctor has tried me on a few of the well known ones, like Imitrex, but they have had either no affect on the migraine, or they have actually made them worse.

Now I know they are migraines, not just because HELLO, I am not a moron, and can read and everything. But about 6 years ago, I had to see a nuerologist because I was having a dizzy spell...that didn't go away for the entire summer! And while we still have no idea what caused that, it was at that point that I was diagnosed with migraines. And I proceeded to do what about them? Nothing. They used to happen so rarely, that I didn't follow up with Thor (what I call my nuerologist, cuz it's Thorsen). Until recently when not even my primary doctor could help with medications.

So years later now, I returned to Thor. And apparently, no drug like Imitrex is going to help a migraine sufferer like me. See, I have regular headaches every day. I take tylenol when I get up with all my other pills. It's either there already, or will be there. And that puts me in particular group of sufferers. So I need a med that tries to eliminate ALL headaches. That way they can't develop into migraines. So I was psyched. And the drug he wanted me to go on, had a HORRIBLE side effect for many people...weight loss!! I was like SIGN ME UP!! So I began taking it, you have to slowly up the dose, so I was told not to expect any changes for awhile. But then months went by and he upped me to 100 mg. And still, daily headaches and still the horrible migraines. So finally he decided that Topamax had no affect on me (including NO weight loss!) so he began to wean me off Topamax and put me on another drug. I forget the name, but it is actually made for depression, but they have found it helps some migraine sufferers like me. So I had been on that for awhile. Only I noticed I was really not okay lately. Everything felt bleaker, and crying was even easier than ever...and things just felt wrong. So my Mom, the nurse and my personal therapy person, told me I had to get off this stuff and we began weaning me off and I had been off it almost a week, but pills like this stay in your system for awhile. And this overall feeling of hopelessness, yeah okay I always have it, that's why I am on the anti-depressants and anxiety meds I AM on, but this, this was to the nth degree. And I was waiting for some of me, to be back. I had felt it when I talk to some of you. Moments where I feel normal. And that's what I had before, moments or pieces of time, where I felt, not fabulous, but...just okay. And even if that sounds pathetic to people who have no understanding of how depression and etc. work, to me, it's a big deal. This is where we think the SLIDE back into the Pit of Despair started.

Anyway, so right now I am on nothing for my migraines...and I have one developing right now. I can tell. The jaw hurts, the neck, the temples, the eyes. And I know I should get OFF the laptop, dim the lights, and rest and PRAY it goes away. But I am not doing so hot and so I am venting the only way I can at 2:15 in the morning. Cold makes my migraines worse, and this thing, we call it the bean burrito, we got it at Bed, Bath and Beyond, its like a long sack of beads or seeds and you can nuke it in the microwave. Sometimes that helps, but I don't know where one is right now, and everyone is asleep, so I can't go looking everywhere. And it doesn't do much anyway, not when it's real bad.

I so need something to work on me. I have to get another appointment with Thor and NEED him to find a med that will work for me. Make all headaches less, or a pill to stop or lessen the migraine, I don't care anymore. Just stop this pain. Everything hurts. And since my surgery, tylenol is ALL I can take...so no more Excedrin Migraine which helped a little sometimes...only Tylenol, and they haven't been nice enough to make Tylenol Migraine. No they're too busy on making Tylenol Meltaways and crap like that. I want to chop my head off. Even coughing hurts right now. Seriously, if I pay you, will one of you fly out here and take me to the woods in the back, shoot me, in the HEAD, and dump my body in Florian pond??!!?? I will PAY you to kill me right now. If you prefer, an axe to chop off my head, that sounds okay too. Either one, just make it quick, because I am pissy when I am in pain. Well I feel pissy, but all I want are hugs and someone to make sure I don't cry...because it worsens the pain...*sighs*. Anyone willing to swap brains? That has gotta be where the pain is made.

I am off to find something to make all of us laugh or even smile.