My Mom

I don't think I can ever fully summarize or put into words how special my Mom is. How much she is there for me, how much she makes me laugh, how much of a friend she is. She has her hands full dealing with my conditions which I know can be rough on her too, and I can only hope and pray she hears me when I tell her how much I appreciate that and her, and how much I love her and adore her. And how she is my hero. My best friend. My confidante.

I know everyone's Mom is special to them, but my Mom has gone above and beyond the call of duty for me. She has sacrificed for me, she has been hurt because of me, she has been through a lot because I have these disorders and diseases. Not all Mom's would stick by them after they are 18. But my Mom has never wavered in her love for me, and her devotion to helping me be as well as I am capable of being. So I do think that makes her one of the most extraordinary Moms there has ever been.

I know I can be very unpleasant, heck I can be a b*&%^ when I am in a panic attack, or anxiety attack. I can be scary mean or calm when I am having an episode, but she still loves me. She sticks by me and even when I tell her to go, she knows that everything inside of me is screaming, please don't leave me alone. Don't leave me by myself. And she doesn't. She sits through my silence or my tirades, hugs me while I sob my pain out, and then councils me.

I doubt I will ever be able to repay my Mom for all she does for me. Not in this lifetime anyway. I don't think ever though, because nothing can change what she has done for me. But I hope I can always make sure she knows how much she means to me, that I would do anything for her, and that I lover her more than anything. I don't think I could get through this life without her love and support.

I made this video last year, but it is a tribute to my Mom and so I want to share it again.

Without A Hitch!

Well Mother's Day was successful and did indeed, go off without a hitch! She got her nap, she went over to HER Mom's and Dad's gravesite. We ordered Outback for dinner, my Mom and I share the filet mignon, and we got it with salad with thousand island (I have such a craving for it lately!) and aussie fries. Plus they had cream of potato soup so we both got a cup. Mmmmm, it was so good! We had Munchkins for dessert and watched Bride Wars, my Mom loved it!!

Then we did presents...or lack thereof. Sam made her a card using stencils, it turned out so pretty. Katie gave her the envelope with the money for plants and flowers. She was like, you didn't have to give me money, just go with me, and we were all agreed. "We wanted you to HAVE something ON Mother's Day, that you could actually HOLD." I am happy to go with her, plant shopping, but not having special presents felt OFF. I gave her the card I got her, with my own special messages, and presented her with the video I made and posted here. I also gave her the lyrics to PUSH and highlighted the lines that made me think of her. She really liked it and I was so relieved, it is only the second time I have ever done that kind of thing and it was the first time I set it to a WHOLE song. So I had trouble. Especially when youtube and Blogger didn't like the format it was in. I had to look up help and figure out how you change it to wmv, etc. But, LOOK, I finally got it!!

Thanks for those who said I look like my Mom, I have a hard time seeing it sometimes, her being a petite brunette and be being a tall redhead. Me green-eyes, her brown-eyed. But that is such a compliment so thank you!

The movie, Shooting Star, was really cute. It had Kirby Heyborne's missionary companion from the Best Two Years. The cute one, who loses his faith and then regains it before he goes home. And the redhead chick from Singles Ward 2. So it makes me think a Mormon made it, but it never mentions the church so it is NOT by Halestorm, which is the company that does Singles Ward and The R.M., etc. I love those best...sure Kirby is in them, he is my Mormon crush, but they are also the most hilarious!! Seriously watch those and Sons of Provo, and Mobsters and Mormons, and Baptists at out Barbecue. All excellent! :)

I taped Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters, so I am off to watch those as soon as I leave my comments. Hope you all had a good day. And I know for some of you this day is a difficult one, right now. But I hope that someday soon, it will be a joyful day. And Congrats to my pregnant friends, especially the ones whose first Mother's Day, this was. *HUGS* to all!!

Happy Mutti Day!

Mutti is Mom in German, and that is what I call my Mom a lot of the time. It started about 15 years ago, and it has stuck! LOL. Today is Mother's Day and it is her way all day!! And is deserved! That means she gets as long of a nap as she wants, a bath whenever she wants. And she wants Outback brought in, she wants Munchkins, just jelly and glazed, and she wants to see Bride Wars for the first time. As you wish! :)


My Mom is the most amazing person. Her kindness and love and generosity just astound me. She gives and she gives, and when you think she can't possibly have anything LEFT to give, she gives even more. She puts others ahead of herself and her own needs, she is hilarious, and she is my best friend. She is my sounding board when I need to get things off my chest, and she is my security blanket, when I feel so alone and unsure of myself. When I feel worthless and like I don't deserve anyone's love, she hugs me close and tells me she loves me and will for eternity. When I am sick, she holds my hand. When I have a migraine that is so bad it scares me, she sits up with me at 4 am trying to find a way to make it better. My Mom surprises you with her sharp wit and her odd sense of humor. You do not expect some of the things that come out of her mouth, and after you realize, that was said by MOM, it makes you laugh even harder! She is the smartest person I know, her knowledge seems to include everything from the minute to the most intricate details of medical knowledge. She is an excellent author and had two stories published in Friends magazine.

My Favorite is "Cindy and the Treasure Chest":

Choose the right when a choice is placed before you (Hymns, 1985, no. 239).

Cindy giggled in delight as the Mr. Thirsty gadget drained the last of the water from her mouth, tickling her tongue.

Dr. Winters smiled back and picked up a tiny, long-handled silver mirror. “Your teeth look great, Cindy. You’re doing a fine job of brushing them. One last peek, and you’ll be ready for the treasure chest.”

Cindy closed her eyes, opened her mouth real wide, and wriggled her toes happily. She couldn’t wait to see what surprise was in the treasure chest today. Last time there had been dinosaur stickers with goggly eyes, and once there had been tiny books.

“OK, Cindy, I’m all done,” said Dr. Winters, unclipping the napkin from Cindy’s neck. Grasping Cindy’s hand, he pulled her up and out of the chair. “Why, Cindy, what a pretty ring you’re wearing! But ‘CTR’ aren’t your initials, are they?”

“Oh, no, Dr. Winters,” said Cindy, smiling. “ ‘CTR’ means ‘choose the right.’ My teacher at church gave it to me as a reminder to always do the right thing.”

“That’s a really nice idea,” said Dr. Winters. “Now, you run along to the treasure chest and pick out your surprise.”

Skipping down the hallway and into the middle room, Cindy stopped in front of a small pirate chest, took a deep breath, then raised the lid.

“Ooooh! Wow!”

Nestled on trays of rich, purple velvet were sparkling rings in all the colors of the rainbow.

“Aren’t they pretty, Cindy?” asked Dr. Winters, pausing in the doorway on his way down the hall. “Please pick only one—I’m expecting a lot of children this week.”

Nodding her head, Cindy studied the rings one by one. Rosy pink, sky blue, ruby red, grassy green—the colors seemed to go on forever.

How am I ever going to choose just one? she wondered. What I’d really like is one of each! There are so many rings, surely it wouldn’t hurt if I took one of each color, just this once.

With a frown on her face and a funny knot beginning to grow in her stomach, Cindy reached her hand slowly towards the glittering display of rings.

Overhead, the bright lights in the room picked up and reflected a twinkling object on her hand. Cindy’s eyes were drawn to the familiar green and silver ring.

The CTR ring! She’d almost forgotten she was wearing it. She remembered what her teacher at Primary had said as she handed them out: “When you’re baptized, boys and girls, you’ll be expected to do what’s right. It won’t be up to your family or anyone else. It will be up to you and your conscience to do what Jesus would like you to do. This ring will help remind you to choose the right.”

Cindy smiled, remembering how happy and proud she had been to get her CTR ring. Her teacher was right—a little reminder once in a while was just what a person needed.

Closing her eyes tight, Cindy reached into the chest and pulled out a ring. Hot pink! Her favorite color. Now she had a ring for each hand.

I must show Mama, she thought. After carefully closing the treasure chest lid, Cindy skipped happily down the hall toward the waiting room.

Isn't that a nice story? I couldn't get the illustrations, but I think you can see the story in your head. She based it on one of her daughter's, but that is a family secret.

My Mom is in fact, my personal hero. It's not a lie or a platitude, it is pure truth. If I could be like anyone, she is who I would love to be like. She is so full of life, so full of love and so generous with herself...she just amazes me more and more every day. She suffers from many similar problems I do, but she has managed to rise above a lot of the time and is an amazing mother and nurse. I wish I could be more like her, and if ever the day arrives, where someone tells me, "you are just like your mother", I will smile, get a little teary-eyed and be ever so proud. There is no one I'd rather be like, than my Mom. I don't know if I'd still be here if I didn't have her love, her guidance, and her understanding.

I LOVE you Mom. Forever and Always.

I don't care WHAT was intended for this song, it makes me think of my Mom, because you ARE the one true thing I know I can believe in.

"Only love can be divided endlessly ans still not diminish." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh